Out my window: Hints of Spring. Edges of yard underneath piles of melting snow. Puddles. Oh, the puddles. My driveway is a mess. It was sixty degrees the other day. 60 DEGREES, PEOPLE! I am not exaggerating when I tell you that we haven't seen 60 degrees in at least 4? months. I went outside. Without a coat. It was delightful and I look forward to more of that.
Clothing myself in: You don't even want to know. I was going to bleach school shirts when I got home and I always manage to get droplets of bleach on myself so I put on dumpy clothes after work. Then I never ended up taking care of the school shirts. Or changing out of the dumpy clothes....
The toddler: Yep, about a week and a half ago, he decided to potty train. So he's been going for it... at home. He doesn't want to have anything to do with it at his babysitter's house. It's a bit of a conundrum but I suppose it'll work itself out. He's been doing pretty great at home with it, so we will see. Other than that, he is funny, and I love to talk with him.
The kiddos: My IssyB is going to be 11 in just 4 days. 11! She is just such a lovely person. Really. I couldn't have imagined when she was a teeny-tiny baby what a fantastic person she would blossom into. Kind and loving. Beautiful. On the inside and out. I don't know what I did to get to be the mother of such a wonderful person, but I am really really glad.
My sons are wonderful, too :) Isaac has super duper buckled down and is working really hard on his grades. They weren't bad, but he was being maybe a bit sloppy? I love to see his pride in his work when he knows he has worked hard and it's paid off. My Liam is a little knowledge sponge. He. Reads. Everything. Sometimes to an exasperating degree (like standing there reading a book when he's supposed to be getting dressed for school). But I love that he loves learning. What a cool kid.
My Delle is sweet to the core. I love how she adores Issy. It's wonderful.
In the kitchen: Mostly simple meals since I am pretty done by the time I get home from work- spaghetti, bean/ cheese/rice squares. Joe was going to fry some catfish and make some fish chowder on Fridays. And Issy requested bierocks for her birthday. Yum.
Crafting: Nah. I would really like to make time for it again at some point. I miss it. I have a bunch of mending I need to do though :P
Bringing me joy: The conversations I have with George when I am nursing him before bed at night (yes, he still nurses :) the peace on the 6 minute drive to work after I drop the kids off, listening to good music really loud, the way George joyfully says, "MOMMY! You came back!!" when I pick him up, playing the "Ask Any Question" game with Liam and Isaac, sunshine on my face and skin, the way Adelle skips instead of walks, dreaming about the future with Joe. There is a lot to be joyful about.
Thinking about: Oh, man. So much stuff. This is where I might go off the rails a bit on this whole journal thing and it might become more of a "brain dump" if you will.
I just really like working. It's been good for my personal mental health, I think. I love interacting with adults every day. It helps me to better appreciate some of the things that Joe finds challenging. There is a lot of inner conflict about being away from my small ones. The conflict mostly comes from being grateful for a break. There is a fair amount of inner conflict about things not being "the way things used to be". I feel certain that this is what I am supposed to be doing at this point. But no less guilty about not being there for Adelle and George in the same 24/7, bodily, way that I was for my older three.
I think a lot about what might be next for our family. I thought this would be our "forever home" because that is what you do- find a place to stay, settle down. Now I am not entirely sure that is what we, as a family, are called to. But God's plan has always been better than my plan, so we will see :)
Pictures to share: Alright, its been a ridiculous amount of time since I have posted pics, so I am going to. They are mostly Joe's pictures (maybe all of them?), so all photographic talent is his.
This wasn't posed. Liam really is that sincere in his devotion. He is the my child most likely to become a Priest.
I don't think it is possible for her not to pose.
The path up to the Shrine.
St. Joseph sculpture.
The Shrine.
Real life photo. It truly captured how much George didn't want to participate.
Side altar with a painting of Bl. Miguel Pro.
The dome painted with stars is my favorite. That is saying something, there are many beautiful things to see here.
Changing gears. These were my Valentine's Day flowers.
Before the Father Daughter Dance at church.
The many, many faces of George. He is very animated in his facial expressions. And certainly my son.
6 comments:
just move back to kansas. please????? (i think i've said that about 100 times on your blog.) i'll make you dinner once a week for the rest of your life.
liam. that boy. i love him so. ask him to pray for his Godmother.
and Issy has changed! much more grown up.
Wow, that is quite the offer. Tempting even. I don't think Kansas is on the table, but I will have to tell Joe of your offer ;)
I will tell Liam to pray for you. He is a really good, sincere pray-er. I couldn't have guessed what wonderfulness was in that boy when he was an exasperating 2-year-old. It gives me hope for George. I need to arrange for you to have at least a 30 minutes, uninterrupted conversation with him sometime. He's great :)
Yep, Issy is changing so much. Pre-teen, here we come ;)
Oh, so much goodness!! I loved all the pictures of your visit to the Shrine, and all your kids' different personalities. Liam and his devotion. Adelle and her sweetness. George being an ever-changing-two-year-old-ball-of-emotion. Issy growing up. And hearing about Isaac's pride in his work. Each a unique soul.
I totally get what you are saying about work guilt, and how good it feels to be with other adults for prolonged amounts of time.
We continue to pray for you and your family.
With the pictures this was like a lovely little visit with you and your littles :) I especially liked the picture of Joe and the girls before the dance. It makes me smile for things to come.
Prayers for your family that discerning your future may leave you with a clear answer.
You sound so joyful and hopeful, I love it!! So glad you're enjoying work. I sometimes forget how lucky I am to be working part-time from home as a missionary... I get the stay-at-home pluses and lots of real conversations. The freshmen are younger and younger every year, but still better conversationalists than the toddler :).
this was an excellent update! i can relate to the working mom guilt. i have come to realize that being a stay at home mom would NOT in any way make me happy. it would make me a stressed out fat lazy grump. i need to be moving at warp speed all the time to function best. and because of this, i feel guilty. it makes me feel like i couldn't hack it to spend so much time with my own kid. but one of my parenting mantras comes from a dear friend of ours who has 3 lovely children and is an active duty soldier. she's been through a lot of deployments and told me a long time ago that parenting is about quality, not quantity. so although my own weakness (and financial sitaution) keeps me working, i am confident that my children will get the best of me for however much time i can give them. that's what matters.
i also very much enjoyed the picture of joe with his girls. my goodness issy is getting so big! i remember vividly visiting you when you brought her home from the hospital. i am not a bit suprised that all your kids turned out as lovely as they are and i'm happy to get to enjoy it through your blog.
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