Off on a new adventure

He often used to say there was only one Road; that it was like a great river: its springs were at every doorstep and every path was its tributary. "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door," he used to say. "You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to." (from The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien) 

Joe interviewed. Then interviewed again. And we visited and he interviewed some more.

And he got the job, so we will be moving to Wisconsin in about a month.

I am excited/scared/sad/happy/nervous/overwhelmed. Some of the questions from my last post have been answered, namely, where. The when hasn't exactly been pinned down. And the how, oh my, the how. How to move two adults, five kids 8 and under, two dogs, a cat, and a houseful of stuff? Oh, I guess the where hasn't been answered specifically- general area, yes, place to live no.

Which brings me back to overwhelmed. 

But I figure we have gotten this far, which was the really hard part, and the rest is just details. Some really important details, albeit, but details.

Breathe in. Breathe out. We will be home soon. Finally, home.

Growing pains

I keep starting blog posts, getting overwhelmed at everything that is bouncing around in my head and then abandoning them.

There are two main things that I keep going back and forth between:
I am having a hard time letting go of the life we left when we came back to Kansas.

In that life, I was slowly but surely building a support system, making friends. I lived in a house that I loved, that was comfortable and felt like home. The view out my window was always breathtaking. My body felt good there. My soul felt good there- how can such beauty not inspire me to draw closer to my Creator?  I missed my family, I missed my friends but they never really seemed that far away. Distance doesn't really matter to Love.

It is silly. I understand I can't live in the past. That was then. And to take back the last two years would be to take back some awesome things. Namely, the opportunity to be with so many of the people that we love and that love us dearly.  And my sweet little Georgie and the care that was provided to me that allowed me to bring him into this world while both of us remained healthy and whole.

But this is the last thing I saw when I stepped on that plane to leave.

And I have a hard time getting it out of my head.

Then the what ifs and the coulda, shoulda, wouldas start to flow. And I just want to be back there again.

The second thing that is often on my mind is just what comes next?  I know that another huge life change is likely in the works. Very possibly a move. But there are many more questions than there are answers- where, when, how? I feel oddly at peace with it until I think about how hard it is going to be. The practical aspects- packing, moving. Adjusting. Meeting new people. Missing playdays at my sister's house and the kids missing afternoons with Grammie. Missing watching my nieces and nephews grow.  Really, just the missing in general. I am not sure I am ready to do it all again.

But we go where life takes us.  Sometimes when my children have to do things they don't want to do I tell them, "Well, you have to do it, so you can either do it the nice way or the hard way but it will be easier if you do it the nice way".  I should tell myself this when I want to start whining.

Mostly, I feel very worn and ready to get to "normal". The last 5 years especially have been so exhausting. Since 2007, we have lived in two states, in five houses,  had two pregnancies and added two babies.  I should say that we are definitely a stronger family for it, but it is tiring nonetheless. I am ready to settle. I am ready for mundane. Routine. Rhythm.

That is my hope- that wherever we go we can settle in, build community and really call it home.

A little laugh for your day

He is about the jolliest little baby around :)

A year ago today...

...I found out that I was pregnant.  This was rather unexpected. I was scared-- mostly scared of being pregnant and all the things that entails for me.  I was also not quite sure I was up to the task of mothering five children. But you know what?

George has turned out to be the best surprise that I didn't even know I wanted.

I'll admit, the pregnancy was hard. Hard physically, hard mentally not knowing what was next. But it made his coming perfectly and uneventfully all the sweeter.

 

He fits into our family better than I could have imagined. The older kids love him. He is so smiley and kissable, what is not to love?

He is only four months old and he is already trying to keep up with everyone. 

It is amazing how much a year can change things. That fear, that uncertainty turned into this beautiful little boy. I am blessed.

Ridiculously late... birthday boys

Someday I am going to look back and regret not blogging about Liam and Isaac's birthdays, so even though it is terribly late, I am going to do it now.

Liam turned 5! in August (yes, five months ago- told you I was ridiculously late). He asked for chocolate cupcakes and his Godmother and her kids got to attend his party.  I seriously can't believe he is five.

Isaac turned 7 in October.  We got to celebrate with his Godfather and his Godmother and her family.  He helped decorate the cake himself and he was very proud of it. One of the highlights of his day was walking around with my camera during the party, taking pictures. You can see on of Issy above.

Winter? days....

The last couple of weeks have brought pretty mild temperatures so we have ventured out a couple of times.  I know I shouldn't complain. I suppose I would rather it be 60 degrees and sunny in January than 20 and yucky. But. I would really love some snow, as would the kids.  Oh, well. This is pretty good too.

Bike ride.

Sleepy boy.

Trip to the zoo with cousins. The penguins were being very friendly.

Sweet cousins holding hands. It warms my heart.

When it's been so long...

.... it's hard to know where to start. And so much has changed in the last month... So I'll just start where I left off with our homelife. And maybe sometime I'll fill in all the rest.

We decorated the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I love how into it the kids get. It is so sweet.

Issy taking care of Delle during tree decorating. Issy is such an awesome big sister.

Sweet girl.

We got everyone ready in their jammies and took them to see the Christmas lights. I am stunned by their adorableness. I understand I am biased, but man are they cute.

Our family.  The boys were looking at their cousins? i think. But no one is crying, so you get what you get.

Chubby buddy had his very first Christmas.