A month later... some reflections

Sweet, sweet boy. I Love him so much. All those long days of waiting seem pretty far away now.

I am really glad he is here. I was reading back over my posts from this pregnancy. I feel very, very fortunate that our best case scenario seems to have played out. He had the milder of the two antigens, and this was my first pregnancy sensitized to that one. He looked great, anemia-wise, the whole pregnancy. The fluid thing seemed to have resolved itself. He came a wee bit early for me.

I was so pleased with my care this time. Other than my the whacked out billing issues with their office (which I am hoping to get resolved this week), both of my doctors were really great to work with. I was really surprised how much I ended up liking the perinatologist. He was very understanding of my desire to be cautious and yet to keep things low-key if possible. He was encouraging of my choice to vbac and understood that it was important to me to go into labor on my own as long as things kept looking well. I felt very much like an equal partner in my care. I don't recall once being talked down to. My previous experiences and knowledge of my body were given weight in making decisions.

My experience with birthing in the hospital was overwhelmingly positive, also. Even Grouchy Nurse and Pushy Resident didn't really bother me. I felt so surrounded by Joe's and my support team's good... um, energy? supportiveness? (I am not sure the right, non-hippieish word I am looking for) that any negativity just bounced off me. I felt protected but I also felt the strength to advocate for myself. This was really important to me and something I had been concerned about. I got there at just the right time- not so early that I was messed with excessively and not so late that pushing out the baby was a chaotic experience. I was so pleased that everyone was really respectful of that time immediately postpartum, which happens so rarely. It was like everyone in the room really got it.

Oh, I could go on with my reflections about the birth and likely will in another post. But for now, I hear a little boy squeaking himself awake and 4 other littles that need to be directed to get ready for the day.

George's story...

Wow. I can't believe we made it.

What a journey this little boy's pregnancy and birth have been. And, of course, it doesn't really start with him- you can read about Adelle's birth and his other sibling's entrances into this world in this post.

I really wasn't expecting that positive pregnancy test last January. At first, I was worried, not only about the pregnancy part, but also about being mother-of-five. And even though the last few weeks have been rough at times, I think he is fitting nicely into the family. We are going to do just fine as a family of seven.

If you have been keeping up with my blog, you know all about the pregnancy this time- the baby being positive for the little c antigen, the testing, my desperate hope that he would come just a week or two early so that I could know he was ok and so that he wouldn't give the doctors any cause for concern.

I started having sporadic prelabor contractions at about 35 weeks. There were several that were strong enough to make me a teensy bit concerned about my ability to handle the impending labor and birth... they were pretty strong.

Shortly after my 37 week appointment, I started having contractions in the evening that were regular (about 10 minutes apart) but then peter out when I went to bed. He would move a lot during this time, also, so I can only guess that he was just trying to get situated in a good position. In my head, I understood that this was just prodromal labor, but, being an overthinker, I tried not to drive myself crazy about whether this was it or, if it wasn't it, if it would happen soon. I was 3+ cm dilated and 75% effaced at 38 weeks and my OB joked that he probably would see me before my next appointment and I told him I would expect to make it till then and we could just be pleasantly surprised if we saw each other before then. The baby was measuring about 7lbs 12oz at that appointment, according to ultrasound, and my fundus was measuring spot on.

Things Begin.
The Saturday after my appointment, a friend had offered to baby-sit for us so we could go on one last date before the baby came. We took the kids over to her house and headed out to dinner at Panera. It was just lovely- I joked that the baby was waiting to come until the weather cooled off. We walked around some shops- I agreed to walk around the electronics store in exchange for walking around the craft store with Joe. George was so low and big, it was really more of a waddle then a walk. We had to stop by Joe's parents house to get a pan for Labor Day brunch on Monday. While we were there, the cool front finally, finally came through, bringing some rain and much needed relief from the summer of insanely hot temperatures.

We drove back to Mary's house to get the kids, windows rolled down bringing in the cool, rain-scented air. Sweet time.

Got the littles home and put them in bed. Late enough that they didn't even get up after we put them down. We opened the windows, turned on some Norah Jones, sat on the couch and chatted. It was one of the conversations that you can set the stage for but not force. I love those kinds of conversations- I can hardly remember what we said but I remember feeling connected.

Contractions woke me up at 2:30 that Sunday morning- every ten minutes, couldn't sleep through them. I was making noise to get through them and I wanted Joe to sleep, so I went out to the couch, turned on the music I had put together for the birth and did my thing. Then at 6:00 a.m. they just stopped. I was baffled but kind of too tired to care at that point, so I went to sleep for a while. I think I got up around 7:30 and went into the bedroom, where Adelle was sleeping with Joe and I crawled into bed with them for a bit before she woke up. I would have them sporadically, but nothing regular.

We got ready for Church, went to Mass with the kiddos, had a few while we were there, but they weren't real strong. Upon arriving home, as I was getting Adelle out of her carseat, I had a strong one and they picked back up again. Had them regularly during lunch. I needed a nap since I had been up with them for several hours and they petered out while I slept.

It was so beautiful since the cool weather rolled through that after naptime we decided to go to our local nature center and take a walk with the kids. We took a path that I hadn't ever taken before and it ended up leading out to a main road almost 2 miles from our car. It was one of those things that could have made me really grouchy, but choose to laugh through it instead. I had lots of contractions while we were on our walk. Ha! To have been one of the cars on those main roads that afternoon and see the very largely pregnant woman, leaned over her husband, four other children in tow. My poor pelvis felt like it might fall apart when we were in sight of the car. It makes a good part of the story though, right?

We got home and I made dinner for the kids while Joe went and picked up some Chinese food for him and I. By that time, the contractions had gotten stronger and more regular again (about every ten minutes). Joe started timing them when he got back. They increased to about every 6 minutes and I thought that this was it. I called my niece who was coming to the birth and told her to head back to town (she was at the lake for Labor Day weekend). I wanted to get the kids to bed because I was certain they would increase once the kids were.

Only, they didn't. After the kids were in bed, they slowed down to about ten minutes apart again. I tried to use the breast pump to see if they would increase, and they did while I was pumping, but then spaced out again. I took this to mean that it just wasn't time and although I was disappointed, it was getting to be about bedtime and I was tired. I figured that if it wasn't going to happen, at least I should get some rest.

I dreamed about having contractions that night (so I was probably having them and just sleeping through them, I would guess) but slept relatively well. Joe was off of work for Labor Day, so it was great to have him home. As I took a shower that morning, I tried to shake off my disappointment. I thought about this blog post I wrote in March and decided to continue to focus on transformation.

We went to Joe's parents house for a Labor Day brunch. It was a gorgeous day- we sat on their back deck, warm sunshine, cool breeze. Good company, great food. Even though I was disappointed not to have had the baby, it was a really lovely morning. I had contractions on and off throughout the day, but nothing noteworthy.

I got to nap again that afternoon and we had some delicious potato soup for supper. I started having contractions around dinnertime, but I tried to ignore them and pretend I wasn't having them. We got the kids to bed and Joe went out with his brother. I took a bath and watched Glee on the laptop. While I was in the bathtub, I couldn't help but notice that they were about ten minutes apart. But they had an edge to them they didn't have before. I made a mental note of this but chalked it up to overthinking and moved on. I also remember thinking, perhaps a tad overdramatically, that my contractions were never going to be more than ten minutes apart.

Joe got home around ten and I decided to go to bed and left him reading on the couch. I remember standing in the kitchen right before I went and commenting that I couldn't imagine having to do this on and off thing for the next ten days (until my due date).

I got in bed and I was still having them, still ten minutes apart, but they still had the sharp quality to them, mostly where my cesarean scar was. This got me to (over)thinking about whether I was doing the right thing to pursue another vbac. I remembered that I had had the pain over my scar during my first vbac, and this baby was in a similar position so that must be it. I drifted to sleep shortly after 11:30 and dreamed about having contractions until I one woke me up at 1:30.

This Isn't Really It. Or is it?
He started moving around this time again. Which was no surprise- he was always a mover and a shaker and during most of those bouts of contractions, he had been moving. But he was being exceptionally strong this time. And, contractions aside, there was no way that I could sleep through him moving like that. I laid in bed till about 2:00 and then decided I wasn't going to sleep anyways so I might as well get up and do something to distract myself. I turned Ever After on the computer. At about this time, the contractions started to increase in both time and intensity so I decided to time them.

By 2:30 they were about 3 to 5 minutes apart. He was still moving and I started to massage his back forward into a LOA position. I moved my torso in a spiral during contractions, hoping to get him to make that last little turn and put his head in my pelvis like a key into a lock. I was completely not paying attention to the movie now. I also wouldn't allow myself to actually think that this was it- I just didn't want to get my hopes up again. I told myself that if they continued at 3 to 5 minutes apart for an hour, I would wake up Joe and let him know. About ten minutes before that goal, I realized I was starting to need him during contractions so I woke him up. I was having bloody show and was totally in labor, but was still reluctant to call it that.

When I woke him up, I told him to call his Mom (who was going to come stay with the kids) and put her on alert but tell her not to come yet. I had another contraction, felt the baby move down again and told him to scratch that and have her come right now, lol. We called our other support people- my friend Bianca, my sister Michelle and my niece Felicia- and told them to meet us at the hospital. They were coming fast and furious and I was needing Joe to help me through them. Mom got there and we left around 4. I had one in the kitchen right before we left, one halfway down the sidewalk and then one when I got in the car. Luckily, I only had two more in the car and the drive was quick because no one was on the road.

The Hospital
I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked into the hospital, because I had been really concerned about having the baby in the parking garage. Bianca parked the car and we got all the papers signed. Michelle and Felicia arrived right before I got a room. I was so glad to have my women there.

I got kind of a grouchy nurse. She wasn't horrible, she just wasn't particularly pleasant. And when I handed her my birthplan, I could feel her thinking, "oh, one of those women". Which is funny because it didn't include anything crazy or unsafe. I declined a gown and assured her that in the case of an emergency I really didn't care what happened to my clothes. I asked to stand instead of sit for my initial monitoring because sitting was really really uncomfortable at that point.

After the monitors were on, I got really woozy and lightheaded. I sat down on the edge of the bed and the baby's heartrate dropped. I was really out of it and was just trying not to pass out at that point. The resident came in and wanted to check me, which was fine until the nurse started to lower the head of the bed all the way. I looked at her and told her I couldn't lay down and she told me she had to do it so they could check my cervix. I remember thinking, "I have a cervix when I am upright, too." but was feeling too woozy to say anything. I just got up on my elbows so that I could still breathe and that made it so much more comfortable.

Apparently I was about 7 or 8cm dilated at that point and the baby's heartrate was fine once I wasn't sitting. I got onto my knees on the bed and was resting on Joe's shoulder during contractions. They asked to place and saline lock and I gave them the go ahead. I started to feel woozy again and then I fell asleep during a contraction.

Well, not really. I guess I passed out in Joe's arms but I felt like I just fell asleep. They laid me down and gave me oxygen and I came to shortly thereafter. I felt so much better after I passed though- kind of like how you usually feel better right after you throw up? I remember smiling at Joe and telling him I was good now.

I felt so much better.

Just working through some.

I laid there on my left side for a while with the monitor on and Joe talked me through some. Someone said that my Dr. was fine with the initial monitoring that they got and I could been done with it for now (I was doing the monitoring 10 minutes out of the hour). So I took off the belts, the nurses and everyone left the room and it was just Joe and my girls.

Just Laboring
The whole mood changed when everyone left. I just labored and could concentrate on getting him out. I chatted in between contractions for a while. Joe was my main support and Michelle and Bianca rubbed my back some and said encouraging things. He was getting lower and things were intense.

This one makes me laugh. I had gotten cold so I covered up with the blanket. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder during contractions. When it was over he said something about not being able to breathe because I was covering him with the blanket.

I started to feel woozy again, so I went and knelt on the bed. The bed was upright and I rested my head on it and put the oxygen mask on my face a couple of times. Transition hit. That part of labor where I couldn't really do anything to make the pain better, I just had to get through it. I think I said something like, "This would be the part where I would ask for an epidural". I wasn't asking- just stating a fact. I knew that this meant that it would be over soon anyways and that even if I did ask for one, it would likely be too late.

This is the position I ended up birthing in.

I just held on for the ride. It hurt more than it did with Adelle and it seemed longer, too. Maybe the water helped a lot with her? It was time to be monitored again so the nurse came in and sat on the bed next to me. He was getting lower and she just kept having to adjust the monitor. I kept saying, "I just don't want to do this anymore". I don't recall saying I couldn't, because I knew I could- I just didn't want to, lol. Joe said all the right things. Toward the end of transition, the contractions started to get less sharp and I knew it would be pushing time soon. I whispered to Joe that it wasn't going to be much longer.

I purposefully didn't want anyone else to know that I was going to push soon because I didn't want that frenzy to happen. The "she's about to push, omg" frenzy. So I kept it to myself as long as possible. I felt the the same burning of tissues at my cervix I felt shortly before Adelle was born. Then in one contraction, I bore down (well, my body did), my water broke and he came down to my perineum- I leaned over and felt his head right there. The nurse (who was still sitting right next to me) said something to the effect of, "oh, we need to get some people in here". He moved back up a bit, which was slightly more comfortable.

I was still facing the wall at this point, but I heard people come in the room. They tried to turn on the light above the bed and I told them to turn it off. Joe reiterated this and they turned it back off. The resident said she wanted to check me before I pushed to make sure there was no cervix left. I told her no, there was no cervix left and not to check me. She was somewhat insistent that there could indeed be cervix left and I could tear it and I said very calmly, "No, don't check me. I can feel his head right at the entrance of my vagina".

My doctor came into the room and she backed off. I had another contraction and I pushed again. It was really weird, I was able to be much more in control of my pushing this time. I panted when I needed to pant and pushed when I needed to push. I reached down to protect myself from tearing. After his head was out, I felt him rotate on the inside and I expected his body to just slide out but I had to push as hard for his chest as his head, because, as it turned out, they were the same circumference. I flipped around the the doctor handed me the baby under my leg.

Pure joy.

The hospital staff was so respectful of this time- I had asked for them to just hand me blankets and to let me wipe him off myself, which they did. They handed me dry blankets as necessary but no one was all up in our space. My doctor and the residents just stood there quietly.
George, Joe and I just had this Moment. Joe reached over and rubbed his cheek and he opened his eyes to the world.
We cut the cord after about ten minutes and I nursed him a few minutes later. The doctor sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the placenta, which it finally did after a position change. They cleaned me up and bit and looked over the baby briefly and then the room cleared out.We weighed him after a while- 9lbs 4oz. 20in long. Funny, because the US had estimated about 7lbs 12oz just 5 days earlier. He was my biggest baby for gestational age. His blood sugar was fine- apparently I just grow em' big.

Best labor support ever

He didn't have any issues with his immediate transition, which is what I had been most concerned about. His Apgars were 9/9 and his hemoglobin count was fine shortly after birth. He was jaundice and spent 9 days on the biliblanket at home, but no issues other than that. He is an excellent nurser. What a beautiful little addition to our family.

And that is the story of George's beginning...

He is here!

Last belly picture at 38 weeks. He came 5 days later.

Baby George. Born at 6:35a.m. on 9/6/11. 9lbs 4oz and 20 in. Not anemic at all, Apgars 9/9. Dealing with some jaundice right now but working on it slowly.

38 weeks- I can be patient

I was reading this post from when I was about 39 weeks pregnant with Adelle and suspect I might need to revisit it from time to time in the upcoming weeks.

Of course, things are a little different now. I had the luxury of not really having outside pressure as to when she would be born then. She was fine all snuggled in there, no concerns about antibodies. Any impatience on my part was just that- mine.

I had my appointment yesterday and the baby was looking well. But both of my doctors asked if I wanted to schedule my delivery at 39 weeks. It was mentioned pretty casually, no pressure at this point. I get it- that is their job, get the baby out before any problems arise. And he has done so beautifully up to this point. Why risk it?

I politely declined, and they seemed to understand. I still let it bounce around in my head though, because that is what I do. Benefits of going into labor on my own: not as painful (I suppose- as a general rule, spontaneous labor is less painful), the freedom to do what I need to do in early labor, the chance for the baby to get to initiate labor and knowing he is really ready to be born. Risks: we know that he seems to be doing fine right now, but that won't necessarily be the case in a week. Or two.

But the perinatologist has reassured me several times, that at this point, the risks of him becoming anemic are fairly low. His MCAs have been very good- really not even close to being in the anemic range. So what is another week? Or two?

The bonus in this situation is, should we decide to induce for whatever reason, my Bishop's score is fairly high, so it would likely not be the long, arduous scenario that Liam's induction was. Also, I have been having a fair amount of "real" contractions sporadically for the last week, so if I could get them to get close together and regular, labor might not be too far off, right? Right? (I am trying not to put too much hope in this situation because I know you can have on and off labor for weeks).

I feel fine with the decision to wait right now. But as the weeks tick by, I am afraid that the pressure (internal and external) will become greater. I am not too keen on him being in there with the antibodies, either. So, I guess at this point, I am hoping that he will come on his own sooner rather than later and save me the internal conflict. But until then, I just have to be patient and take it one day at a time.

37 weeks- more time

I think the computer with the pictures and blogger are conspiring against me because I haven't been able to upload pictures. Darn technology...

Full term! Another good appointment- his fluid was great, MCA was fine, biophysical was fine. Don't have another sono until next Thursday. The perinatologist seems to think that, at this point, his chances of being affected by the antibodies are low. We are still keeping with the weekly MCAs to be sure, I am making sure to monitor his movements, which he luckily gives me no problem with. Every week he looks good is another week under our belt, brings us closer to labor.

We went over my birth plan with my regular OB. Joe commented that my birth plan gets shorter with each baby, lol. Maybe I have gotten more concise over the years? Anyways, everything on it seemed workable, so that was good.

I have felt from the beginning of this pregnancy that I should birth at the hospital, before we even knew about the added antigen this time. I can't really explain it- it was just the same way I knew that Adelle should be born at home, I guess. But as much as I am convinced that birthing George in the hospital is the right choice, I am still apprehensive about it. I am concerned about getting there too early (and being pestered) or too late (and having to hash out insignificant things while I am pushing out a baby. or worse, pushing out a baby in the dark parking garage). I know I just need to wait to see how this all unfolds. The not knowing is hard.

My cervix is already preparing for labor. I know it isn't an indicator of when things will happen, but it is nice to know that these pre-labor contractions that make me think "If this is just a Braxton Hicks, how am I going to handle labor?" are indeed doing something.

So that is us. Just waiting now. Shooting for September 1st :) Hoping to figure out the picture thing so I can share the "Rest of the Summer" post I have been thinking about.

A comparison

I need to put the pictures of Liam's birthday on the computer, but until then....

The day I went into labor with Adelle (the day before she was due)

And 36 weeks with George. Yeah, I think I have over a 7lber in there already.

36 weeks- thankful for a reprieve

36 weeks

Appointment today was great- MCA was fine. Fluid was still good. We got to talk to the doctor and asked if we could go back down to one appointment a week, since his fluid measured fine the last two sonograms and he said that was fine. So as long as his movement is good (oh, it's good alright) we are going to do our weeklys. And pray fervently that he decides to come sooner rather than later. My next appointment is the day I turn 37 weeks, so unless something drastic changes in the next week, I am going to make it to full term. I am very relieved about that.

So yes, today was a good day. Excited that every day brings me closer to my little boy.

Well, that was much better

I had a Biophysical Profile today and his fluid was up. More than double what it had been, actually. So maybe it wasn't a good reading last Thursday? I also drank 2 1/2 L of fluid this morning over a couple hour period in preparation for the test (and increased my overall hydration this past weekend) so perhaps that was it? At any rate, hooray! I go again on Thursday, will continue with my ridiculous amount of fluid and hope it continues to stay up. MCA was fine too, today. I might get to go into labor on my own, yet.

35 weeks- welcome to the pressure cooker

34 weeks

35 weeks

George is doing just fine. No problems with the MCA at his appointment yesterday. Moving well (extremely well!), practice breathing. His estimated weight is 6lbs 11oz at 35 weeks! The further along you get, the less accurate sonograms are at determining weight, but I think this is probably about right, given my experience.

I was, however, found to have low amniotic fluid. Which I have had to a greater or lesser extent with all my pregnancies. At 38 weeks with Issy, the doctor told me that he didn't feel like he had a real great chance of turning her because she didn't have a lot of fluid. We went with a repeat c-section with Isaac at 40 weeks when it was found that he didn't have very much fluid. Liam had on the low side of normal the last few weeks. And Adelle didn't have sonograms but I could tell by then, the way my belly feels in the last few weeks of pregnancy that she didn't have an overabundance either.

I think that this is just what my body does, for whatever reason.

But it gets the doctors excited! and then I get excited! and the momentum! of things make me think not so clearly.

It isn't that I don't think that keeping an eye on it isn't warranted. It *can* indicate problems with the placenta- that it isn't quite up to par anymore. But growth is obviously fine. And he did all his things that he is supposed to be doing. And his blood issues seem to be under control. So the fluid alone, especially given that this isn't my first trip around the low fluid block, doesn't seem to be all that alarming to me. Then I begin to think that perhaps it is pride, not wanting to admit that something might be off. Or perhaps I just have a more complete picture than they do? This is the first time it has crept up this early, so I don't really know anymore.

Because really, even if I am 99% sure that it is not a big deal, and I act accordingly and it turns out to be a Big Deal, how do I live with myself?

But I have to say, rightly or wrongly, the idea of being induced, with the needles and the procedures and the poking and prodding, makes me want to flee. And it makes me say, perhaps reasonably, I only want to be induced if I know there is a good reason for it- because he seems unwell. But do I really want to wait? When there are signs (perhaps inaccurate) that indicate that it might go that way?

Or not?

In my reading, oligohydramnios at term, while being otherwise low-risk, isn't necessarily an indicator of adverse outcomes. But I am not quite term. And he also has the blood incompatibility, which means he isn't really low-risk.

Since the amount of fluid has become an issue, I am going to be seeing the doctor twice a week instead of once.

So yes, that is our story, this far. My optimism, my fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude is running thin. I am raw. And worn out.

Ahhhh, sweet relief

Rain. After a gazillion days of it being eleventy billion degrees outside (what can I say? I like hyperbole), it is rainy and pretty cool this morning. My window is open. I am not sweating, which is nothing short of miraculous. I actually want to go and stand outside in the rain and do a little happy dance, but I fear that the neighbors might think I have lost it. I finally feel like if God has another month of pregnancy left for me, I might actually be able to do it.

This baby has been wild! the last few days. I have no idea what he is doing in there, but it is kinda painful at times. He really likes to press his feet into my ribs, push off, and jam his head into my cervix simultaneously. It is an interesting sensation, having a person in your body.

I would be lying if I said that I am not anxious about what the next 5 weeks will hold. I haaaate not not knowing what to expect. Will I go into labor or need to be induced? When? Will he be healthy? Will he need the lights? Spend time in the NICU? How is labor going to go this time? My labor with Liam was long and tiring, my labor with Adelle was rainbows and unicorn sparkles, obviously I know how I would like this one to go. Will I be able to advocate for myself and for the baby if the going gets tough?

I want to skip this part. Kind of desperately, actually.

But I am realizing that there is no way but through this one. Fantasizing about what it will be like when it is all over is all well and good, but that isn't exactly facing reality.

So I will do what I can and hope for strength. Strength to face whatever I need to face. I repeat it in my head- I am strong, George is strong. And we can get through this together.

Oh, this baby caused drama this week

Not even outside the womb and already causing excitement.

He is fine, to start off the post :) Well, I mentioned last week that if my titers went down to 1:4 that we could back off on some of the testing. But alas, I found out Monday, not only did they not go down, they went back up to 1:16. So the doctor recommended that I get the steroid shots to mature his lungs, just in cause we would need to deliver in the next month. He said that it was likely still fine, but that because it went back up, it would be a good precautionary measure.

But it had to be done before I turned 34 weeks. Which was today. And I got the call on Monday. And the two shots had to be done 24 hours apart....

So on Tuesday and Wednesday, I dragged my tush to L and D and got a couple of shots in my hips. Hurt worse the first day. It was relatively uneventful, but could be very helpful should he need to come out soon.

I also was scheduled for a biophysical profile today. Which should have been pretty straightforward, except he fell asleep halfway through the test and wouldn't do the "practice breathing" movements. So I sat in the waiting room until they decided what to do and then did a non stress test. About the time that they got him on the monitor and walked out of the room, he started moving around. His heartrate was reactive, the doctor took me back to the sonogram room and sure enough, practice breathing movements. Tricky guy. Apparently I should eat something beforehand so he doesn't fall asleep.

I happened to have an MCA today because the tech was teaching a doctor how to do them and his reading was higher than it had been, although still below the cut off. We will see how he does next week.

He is being plenty feisty this evening, so no worries about him currently.

And of course, because life isn't crazy enough right now, our power was out from about 10 last night to about 4 this afternoon. It wasn't terrible in the morning, just muggy. Reeeeally glad it is back on now. I love my air conditioner. So, so much.

It's too long and too short all at the same time...

Well, I was 33 weeks on Thursday, which means that I am "full-term" in 4 weeks. And 7 weeks until my due date. The situation is a little frustrating because I need to have everything ready in 4 weeks, just in case he needs to come early- we are about halfway through the nesting list. My two big things I still need to do are organize the Learning Room (yikes!) and organize our "mail drawer" which is were pretty much all the mail gets thrown. I don't think I have organized it since November (yes, go ahead and judge me). If anyone has any suggestions on how to keep those papers organized, they are most welcome.

On the other hand, if I get all this organizing and everything done before 37 weeks, what am I going to do with myself between weeks 37 and 40 if he is looking good? I am already more than ready to be done being pregnant, so I will definitely need something to distract me. Yes, there, I said it. I am so uncomfortable in my own skin that I would gladly exchange being woken up by a newborn to trying to sleep with him squirming in my belly and having to get up to pee every hour. Of course, he needs to bake longer and I am not actually prepared for him, but I will say that I now understand why women choose to be be induced early. /whine

Time goes by amazingly fast (except for the long, restless nights) so I am sure that baby time will be here before I know it. I was laying in bed last night, realizing it was almost August and wondering where the heck July went. We are trying to cram in a lot of swimming and visiting because most of our schooling friends will be going back to school in a couple of weeks.

Baby time also presents a conundrum. I am starting to think about the birth and it is causing me some stress. I just wish I could know how he will need to arrive so I could plan accordingly. If induction is on the table because he needs it, fine, but my preparation/expectations/plan would be pretty different than if he looks well and I go into labor on my own. And I have to be prepared to change gears on pretty short notice. I mean, I suppose that is the way with every birth since it is pretty unpredictable but in most cases there is at least a reasonable expectation that what you prepare for is generally how things will go.

So yeah, if you made it this far, please excuse my rambling and whining. This is just part of my process. If pregnancy is a journey, this one has been more challenging for me than the last one and it has forced me to tap into all my reserves of patience. And then some.

33 weeks! and something for the baby

Punk Knitter Soaker

I finally knit something for him to completion. It helps soothe the Mother Guilt I have about knitting a gazillion things for Liam and for knitting and sewing a gazillion things for Adelle and nothing for him yet. In fairness, he really doesn't need another diaper cover- I still have most of Liam's, a bunch from my nephew Zane and some gender neutral ones of Adelle's. But I love the yarn and he is going to look adorable in it.

32 weeks

33 weeks

She wanted me to take a picture of her when I was taking a belly picture. She is such a ham.

All is still well with the baby. I had my blood taken in June at 28 weeks and apparently my titer went down from 1:16 to 1:8. The doctor said that if it went down further we could back off some of the surveillance, so I had some blood taken yesterday. Cross your fingers for a titer of 1:4. I am not expecting it, but it would be nice.

We talked about skipping the amnio at 37 weeks and continuing to do the MCAs. The doctor felt that since the MCA's main downfall was false positives (that is, the baby looking anemic went he actually wasn't) and since he was looking so good thus far, it might be more prudent to take a wait and see approach as long as the MCAs continue to look good. If the MCA showed a high reading, we would likely redo it the next day. And the amnio is always an option if we do decide to go that way.

So at this point, I am just praying that he will decide to come early on his own- 37 or 38 would be ideal. Please, baby George.

31 weeks

31 weeks

Baby George was looking good today. He is estimated at a hefty 4 1/2 lbs already- in the 80th percentile. We are now scheduled for weekly appointments from here on out. Which I am really trying not to be overwhelmed by. But it is overwhelming. It also helps put things in perspective- that neat list of appointments, ticking off the weeks until this little boy comes out to greet the world. I am scheduled through 40 weeks, but if he would like to come out earlier, that would be mooooore than ok with me. We discussed doing the amnio at 37 weeks, which we are going to go ahead with. While I don't relish the idea of another amnio, it seems like the smartest course of action.

This will be the longest/shortest summer I have experienced. It is already mid-July and yet, when I look at the finish line, it seems soooooo very far away. It has been so hot. My back/hip issues have been helped immensely by the chiropractic, I am so grateful for that. But other pregnancy discomforts have crept up, some more challenging than others. Recently, I have started to feel very claustrophobic in my body, I feel like I can't breathe well enough and it makes me feel all panicky. And I am not sure how I can be pregnant for one day longer, let alone 9 weeks.

But I have enough self-awareness to know that I am prone to being overdramatic and that even though things seem difficult right now, I will indeed make it. And when I am holding that sweet, soft little baby, this will be just a memory- there, but hazy around the edges. Thank goodness for that.

Restless Womb Baby

I have been up for about an hour with a very restless baby George. He is funny- I have periods of pretty regular movement (when it is about time to get up in the morning, after lunch, evening time, usually a little when I am trying to fall asleep) but he was just really, really wild last night. Every time I got up to go to the bathroom, he would be kicking up a storm. I managed to fall back into a restless sleep most of the times, but at a quarter till five, he got me. He apparently doesn't like it when I try to curl into a ball around him because he kept kicking my ribs pretty hard whenever I would try. I wonder if he is going to be longer than the others were? All the other babies were in the 19 inch range and I don't recall having this problem. I guess we will see.

As I was laying in bed, trying to fall back asleep, I started to think (uh-oh) about the next couple of months. I'll be 30 weeks in couple of days and I am simultaneously thinking "ten more weeks?! how am I going to be able to grow this already cramped baby in there for ten more weeks?" and "ten more weeks?! i have way more things to do in the next ten weeks than the energy to do them" And that all, of course, hinges on him actually getting to stay in until his due date. In reality, it could be another 7 or 8 weeks before he comes, which makes me a little less panicky about the former. And more panicky about the latter.

My sister passed me down the overwhelming amount of baby boy hand me downs this week. Wow. He could probably wear a different outfit everyday the first six months and not have to repeat. The issue is that currently, I don't actually have a place to put his things. I am going to set up a crib (which I need to get from my sister-in-law) in the boy's room (they are getting a bunk bed from my *other* sister) so he can nap in there, but he will sleep in our room at night. Now, where to put his clothes and diapers? I don't think they will fit in the boy's room. The house has enough space, but they might end up someplace weird, like the learning room. I think I might be overthinking this too much.

I still need to organize/rotate out/go through all the other kid's winter stuff from last year *eye roll* Yes, I realize it is July. I was trying to put it off until after vacation because I knew we would need warm stuff for CO. We have been back for over a week now. And their full suitcases of clean winter things that need to be put away are still in the living room. I think by the time I get it all figured out, it might be time to get them out again :P

And then, of course, there is schooling. We have been working this summer, though not as much as I would like. Rarely as much as I would like. Honestly, that is my number one stress of homeschooling is that I worry about not getting enough done. Or not doing it in an organized enough manner. And, and, and.... The kids seem to be doing well, the older two have been concentrating on their phonics, I have touched a little on 100 Easy Lessons with Liam, we have finally broken out our math games and we are finishing up the Alphabet Path, though at an accelerated pace.

So there you go. No wonder I couldn't get back to sleep this morning, I had all that rattling around in my head :p It is about 6:20 now. The kids will start getting up and I will start to feel like I am ready to go back to sleep and finish up the night. Ha! Might as well make my morning cup of coffee now :)

29 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks (please excuse dirty mirror, the mirrors are often dirty around here!)

Appointment today- looked good :) Every week he is doing so well gives me more hope that I might get to take a well (if not slightly yellowish) baby home with me in a couple of months. He is in a good position right now (sometimes LOA. sometimes LOT.) Liam was in an extremely similar position and he came out just fine :)

I am, however, getting to that "I am so done being pregnant" stage. Not because I am particularly uncomfortable. Not because I have everything ready (ha!) but because I am tired of all the appointments. And it is really only going to get more intense from here on out. I will be seeing the regular OB every couple of weeks until 36 weeks and then weekly. I will be seeing the specialist weekly after 33 weeks. And I am also seeing the chiropractor for my back. Which leaves me with a ri.dic.u.lous. amount of appointments with various assorted healthcare providers. It will be nice once he is born and we can slow down a bit.

I am feeling better since I started seeing the chiro. My back and ligaments have still been giving me some trouble but I am going fairly frequently at this point, so relief is often just around the bend. And it seems to be resolving itself quicker, too. Hooray for relief. I was pretty sure a few weeks ago that I wasn't going to make it to the end of my pregnancy if I continued to feel like that, so it is nice to feel (relatively) normal most of the time now. I at least feel like I can make it another 11 weeks now without my pelvis falling apart, which is good ;)

27 weeks

25 weeks 3 days

26 weeks

27 weeks

Had another appointment yesterday and all is well. He had a couple of higher-for-him readings (though still under the cutoff) when the ultrasound technician took the MCAs. When the doctor came in, he did a couple and got much lower readings (around what they had been in previous weeks). He said he wasn't concerned and that in an anemic baby he would expect consistently higher readings across the board without the lower readings that he was able to get. Even at this stage, movement can affect the readings and he was being a wild baby when the tech was doing it. I am continuously impressed by how level-headed my high-risk doctor seems and am so relieved to feel like I can trust his assessments.

They also took his measurements, which are still ahead a couple/few weeks. His estimated weight is already 2 lbs 12 oz. Chubby little guy I've got in there. Can't wait to plant kisses on those smooshy little cheeks he'll have.

I went and saw the chiropractor a couple of times this week and plan to go for the remainder of the pregnancy. So far, so good. I really like her, and my back is feeling much improved, although that could be at least partially due to the fact that I have been avoiding things that tend to aggravate it. Swimming laps really did seem to help also. Whatever it is, I am just very glad to have some relief.

That is me. Not exciting, but good :)

Summertime!

From a beautiful Sunday afternoon in May. Lawn watered? Check. Children happy? Check.

We have been having a good summer so far. Been working on the kid's school- more about that later. It's been nice, we still have a good rhythm to our days, but have been enjoying all the summer has to offer- fresh air, swimming, bike rides. As much as I am enjoying the sunshine, I am not looking forward to the long, humid July. I know, I am picky. I just don't really like to sweat just by walking outside.

Since I mentioned it in my last post, baby George has flipped back around. Thank goodness. I was thrilled on Sunday night when Joe and I were hanging out and I realized he was kicking my ribs. Now I just need him to stay anterior and we are all set. I am still having lower back/sciatica issues, so I have an appointment with a chiropractor on Wednesday. She is really close to my house (like, 1/4 mile), works a lot with pregnant women and comes highly recommended. Since she is so close, Joe will be able to come home briefly to watch the littles while I go over there.

I went swimming at the Y yesterday which also provided some relief from the back pain. Between that and the chiropractic, I am hoping to feel better soon.

The rest of June is busy, busy- vacation, a coming home party for my brother-in-law who has been deployed, more appointments for George. It'll be July before I know it!

26 weeks

Well, this post was supposed to have pictures but our computer that I put the pictures on is not plugged in currently because when we had a storm the other night our roof started leaking. Right over the computer. So we unplugged and moved it, obviously, but haven't plugged it back it. We'll get there.

Had an appointment on Wednesday. George was being kinda tricky at first. Basically, he had turned head down (he had actually been in that position for about a week) but he was posterior and his chin was tilted up. So the top of his head (the part that they need to scan to look at the mid-cerebral artery) was really hard to get to. First she tried to jiggle him to get him to move, but no, then she tried to get it as best she could. We waited for the doctor, who tried to get it again and got a much more accurate reading because George had put his chin down.

That night, he flipped breech again. And ouch. I hope he changes his mind soon because I find feet down there extremely uncomfortable. He was moving a ton this morning, so we will see.

Everyone else is doing well. We are doing school during the summer so that we can finish up a few things from last year and get a jump start on the new school year before the baby is born. They are getting excited about him- Liam told me this last week that I only had one trimester to go. Apparently he has been listening. Adelle kisses my belly and calls him PoppyGeorge, which is adorable.

Only 3ish more months to go. That seems like an extremely long and short time all at once. I have been having various issues with my pelvis and I need to see a chiropractor to get it all worked out, but I am already seeing the doctors so much as it is that I am having a hard time figuring out time/money to see a chiro on top of it. But I also can't imagine doing another three months with my body feeling the way it does. Silly fifth baby is really giving me a run for my money :)

24 weeks

23 weeks

24 weeks. I wore this shirt when we visited Yellowstone when I was 37 weeks with Adelle. I am feeling doubtful that it is going to fit me in another 13 weeks.

Everything is fine here. Had an appointment yesterday- the little turkey is sitting breech, which is kind of uncomfortable for me. He has about another 4-6 weeks to decide to go head down. The sooner, the better. Not one smidge of concern about him looking anemic.

I am starting to feel like I am actually going to be having a baby. Perhaps due to the hardly deniable expanding abdomen and tossy-turny in my womb, it is kind of hitting me that in a few months I am going to be doing it all again- the first few sleepless weeks, the falling in love, the adjustment/adoration as the older kids get used to a new person in the house. I have bought him some clothes (even though, really, once I get all the hand-me-downs in place, he will probably be set. It is always nice to have a few new things, though), started thinking about what I will need to diaper him (again, yay for hand-me-downs!) and about his accommodations.

And still, wow. Another baby.