Birth

I have been giving some thought to how this new little one will be born. The stories of how my other children have been born are quite varied. A planned cesarean that I was scared of but ok with. A last minute planned cesarean that I was less ok with. A long, induced three weeks early, ultimately medicated, VBA2C. Home waterbirth.

And I wonder- how is this one supposed to go? If the baby ends up having an antigen, which statistically, it seems likely that he will, I will be birthing in the hospital again. And also, given the antigen, it is also likely that he (um, or she) might need to come out early. I chose to skip the induction and schedule a cesarean with Isaac because I wasn't comfortable with the risks of inducing a VBAC. With Liam, I choose to mitigate some of those risks by being induced without chemicals- just manual dilation with a foley catheter and nipple stimulation.

Holding Issy for the first time

With this one- who knows? If the baby is looking anemic (according to a test that isn't particularly accurate after 35 weeks, which is problematic), it'll be an early out. We discussed doing an amnio for lung maturity if we were in the situation that it looked like the baby might need to be born late preterm. He said that was possible- if the baby's lungs weren't mature, we might wait, weighing the risks of breathing issues on the outside versus blood issues on the inside.

Oddly, I am feeling very unattached to method of birth. As I said in my previous post, it seems too much to ask that the baby would have neither antigen and I would get to have another peaceful birth at home. And any scenario where the baby has an antigen would likely mean getting the baby out early, either because it was sick or because we were trying to prevent it from becoming sick.

Holding Isaac for the first time

Induction and repeat cesarean both have pros and cons. Induction pros- baby gets to experience labor, which is good for the lungs, which would definitely be a plus to a baby who was being evicted early. Easier recovery for me- dealing with the pain before the birth instead of after. Cons- higher risk of uterine rupture, failed induction necessitating a cesarean anyways.
Cesarean pros- quick(ish). Know what to expect. Lower risk of uterine rupture. Cons- c-section babies have a higher incidence of respiratory distress even in healthy infants; longer and more painful recovery for me.

Those are the practical considerations.

Holding Liam for the first time

But birth is about more than just practical considerations, for me, at least. I believe that birth has the power to be a transformative experience. I used to think that the transformative aspect was best achieved through natural childbirth. Then, when Adelle was born under the most ideal circumstances I could have imagined possible, I realized the transformation wasn't in the natural birth. Yes, it was a lovely birth and I wish that all of my births could have been/ would be that easy and peaceful. But the transformation was happening all along- with my c-sections, with my really long induction. It happens with every birth, if I am open to it.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared or that I didn't have preferences. But no matter how Poppy ends up getting here- it will be our journey. I'll surround myself with supportive people and make the best decisions possible for us.

Holding Adelle for the first time