Journal: Almost summer!

Out my window: 63 and overcast.  Supposed to be warm and rainy the next few days.  The mosquitoes came out last week.  We bought some yard repellent and sprayed our yard Saturday.  Normally, we are chemical free (cleaning products and such) but I don't particularly think it is healthy to be swarmed (no exaggeration) by mosquitoes every time you walk outside or have to wear super bug repellent on the skin.  So yeah, risks vs. benefits. But it took the mosquitoes from "Alfred Hitchcock Movie Level" to "Swat A Few Away Level", at least at midday. So we will just shower every night and that will be that. And hopefully, by the time we get back from Kansas, the worst will be over.

Clothing myself in: Black yoga pants, lavender shorted sleeved shirt, grey ankle socks.

Around the house: Well, Saturday afternoon we still had plague-like levels of mosquitoes so we stayed inside  and I swept and mopped the floors really well. Kids + Animals + Sandy Soil=  Perpetually messy floors.  I started switching out the girl's clothes.  I really need to help them clean their room and get all the winter stuff out of their drawers before we can go much further. And I need to put away the Easter decorations because now that Pentecost is over, I have officially run out of excuses.

We decided last week not to redo the floors in the kitchen right now.  Joe is going to end up being down in IL for several days for work while I am gone and it would really rush him.  It is perfectly workable right now and I would rather wait and just do it all at the same time.  It is better this way.

Our biggest new thing around the house is our new Australian Shepherd pup named Critter. Never a dull moment!

The toddler: Back to early wake-ups and toxic smelling poo :(  It was so much better at the end of April, then it was not as good but tolerable and now it is bad again.  It seems to be cyclical, which is maddening.  I am going to resume the food and poo diary, and I think we are going to go dairy-free after we are done traveling. If that doesn't help, I am going to take him back to the doctor. Frustrating.

Really cute though.  He speaks so well.  Some of his funnys: If you ask him to say sorry to someone, it doesn't matter who it is, he usually says, "Sorry, Delle".  When Joe turns on the mower, he screams "DADDY! MOWER!" over and over. Pretty much until Joe is done.  He loves loves loves his Daddy.

The kiddos: Three more days of school.  It will be so great to have all my littles home. Take some getting used to, of course, but pretty exciting.  They have all been a big help with the new doggie, especially in the potty training department.  It is nice to rotate the responsibility of taking him out to potty during the day. Such great kids.

Crafting: Big project still in the works :)

In the kitchen: Turkey chili tonight, Spaghetti tomorrow, refried bean burritos.

Bringing me joy: Mango scented candle, Issy offering to sweep and mop the dining room without me asking, how much joy the girls have when I get out the hand-me-downs, playing frisbee in the yard with the kids, planting wildflowers with the kids, seeing Clementine get to take on her new role as older, wiser dog, the look of joy on my husband's face when he cuddles the new doggie.

Thinking about: Especially after my weekend last week, I have been pondering my blessings.  My life isn't perfect- sometimes I get weighed down by kid misbehavior, money stress, misunderstandings, my lack of motivation and subsequent guilt, my short-temper.

But I have a beautiful, beautiful life. So many wonderful friends, a close-knit family, both my own little family and our families of origin. I have a beautiful house on beautiful (if not sometimes overly buggy ;) land. A husband who loves me, prickles and good things and all. And I think he is the bee's knees :)  So much to be thankful for.

Pictures to share:

Journal: Refreshed

NB: Written on Monday, posted on Tuesday

Out my window: Mid 40s and sunny- supposed to get into the 60s today.  And apparently, the 80s tomorrow. I would prefer not to skip Spring but I suppose I can't really complain about warmth at this point. Maybe in July ;)

Clothing myself in: Cloud pajama pants, a blue striped shirt, red fleece socks and Joe's robe.  If I had curlers in my hair, I would be the picture of "Stereotypical Housewife".

Around the house: Our Mom's group at Church rented a beautiful house on a lake near here for the weekend for a small retreat/ getaway from Friday afternoon to Sunday. I came home to a picked up living room, bedroom, reading nook, the dishes were done and they had made me a beautiful Mother's Day gift. So I would say the house is pretty good :)

The toddler: He did so great for Joe while I was away.  He gave Joe some trouble one nap time, but other than that, he was a good, big boy.  He grows up so much every day.

I am happy that he still wanted to nurse when I came back. I always wanted to breastfeed our kids but I never thought I would do it much past a year. Even though toddler nursing is challenging at times (understatement) there are still so many good things about it that I wouldn't trade. It really is a whole different ballgame than infant nursing. It is an opportunity to teach him manners, to teach him healthy boundaries, to slow down that perpetual bundle of movement for a few moments, to get that nurturing contact.

Insert realtime break to nurse a cranky boy who then transformed into a happy boy.

See? Magical :)

The kiddos: Isabelle is growing so much.  She is really entering that time between kid and adolescent.  I am trying to help her navigate this as gracefully as possible.  I hope I am doing a good job.  When you are in the midst of infancy and toddlerhood, it seems like it could not possibly get harder.  And I wanted to cover my ears when wiser moms with older children said that the challenges would be just as challenging, just in a different way.  Soonish, she is going to start making decisions on her own; small at first, but bigger as time goes on. And then choices that will effect her whole adult life.  And I am just going to have to move from guiding her, to trusting her and praying for her.  The responsibility for having five immortal souls entrusted to our care is daunting sometimes.

Crafting: Not right now. A big, exciting idea will hopefully be unfolding in the near future.

In the kitchen: Grilled pork chops with roasted garlic Parmesan potatoes,  refried bean burritos, turkey chili.  We tried Mary's Chicken Curry Soup last week and it was deeeelicious.

Bringing me joy and thinking about: This weekend was amazing.  To preface: I have been pregnant or nursing or both for nearly 11 years. I don't want to make it sound like I don't get down time, because I do- Joe has always been great about encouraging me to take care of myself and supporting me and helping me with the kids whenever possible.  But sometimes, given the style of parenting we have chosen/ feel comfortable with, the down time must be taken in small chunks here and there.  I don't regret the way we parent or the amount of children we have, but it has been a lot of mother-intensive, very bodily-giving for the last ten years.  The last time I had a night away was when I served on a TEC retreat in July of 2006 when I was pregnant with Liam.

So when our Mom's group at church started discussing a getaway/retreat weekend, it sounded really really good.  I pretty quickly dismissed it because George is pretty used to me nursing him down for nap and nighttime and did I really want to mess with that? But I mentioned it to Joe anyways and he was very encouraging.    And over the last couple of months I wondered how it was going to go and did I really want to do this and would I be worried the whole time?  But every time I expressed doubts, Joe would reiterate that he could handle things. And when Isaac threw up a week before and I thought everyone would get sick, Joe told me that he didn't care how many kids were sick, even if he was sick, he still wanted me to go.

So on Friday, I packed my bags and was about to leave.  And about 20 different things were going through my head that I wanted to remind Joe of and micromanage. I only allowed myself to say two.  And you know what? They were fine. Isaac got a deer tick and Joe handled it. George was tricky in Mass and the other four were fine. They were all fed, dressed, had movie time, s'mores time, craft time- Dad style.  I need to let go more.  He is just as capable of a parent as I am. It is good to step away sometimes.

It was so nice. I ate food- I didn't have to hide it, I didn't have to cut anyone's food or dish anyone else up first, no one threw their cup at my head; I ate slowly, chewed my food and drank my coffee while it was still hot without having to microwave it.  I slept- I didn't have to haul myself out of bed at 4/5/6 in the morning, I didn't have to shove anyone over to get space and I didn't have to hear a fussy child yell my name.  I enjoyed the company of 7 great women- silly conversations, serious conversations, theological discussions, marriage and family discussions. Laughing, praying, relaxing.

By Sunday morning, I couldn't wait to see everyone.  As much as I loved the time away, it was so good to get home. The break gave me a chance to truly appreciate my children, my husband, our life.  I have never felt more grateful for Joe, I generally feel pretty grateful to him.  He is such an awesome Dad and husband and I will never know, in this life, why I am lucky enough that he wanted me to be his wife.

The rest of the day was pretty lovely. I feel really refreshed and ready to tackle the real life stuff again with a positive attitude.  What a great Mother's Day gift.

Journal: Real Spring

NB: I started this on Monday. So much for efficient blogging.

Out my window: 52, overcast, but it is supposed to get into the mid-seventies today. Hooray! The last couple of weeks have been beautiful, except for some cold rain a couple of days last week. I know I am a weather whiner, but man, this was the longest winter ever.

Clothing myself in: Jeans, old teal Old Navy T-shirt and a tan cardigan.

Around the house: The Spring cleaning by room has been going well, but not quite at as quick of a pace as I would like.  Our room took about two weekends. The laundry room took several days but I worked on it during the week. It is awesome. Everything is easily accessible, easy to put back in the right place, not cluttered.  I still need to go through the old bills and file or destroy, but other than that, it is pretty great.

The toddler: We have been back and forth on the sleeping since last post. Which, I should be very grateful that there has been any "forth". I am still pretty stumped as to why. I started keeping a food and poo diary (gross, I know, but you do what you gotta do) and there were some things that seemed correlated. Cutting out peanut butter seemed to improve his sour poo issue almost all the way. Well, until this weekend. sigh.

And, perhaps by coincidence, or not, the four times I have skipped giving him a probiotic in yogurt, he has woken up at 4:15. Other than that, we have seen a the 4:00 hour a whole lot less, and even a few days in a row of after 6. I am still obsessing about the difference in those days because I WANT MORE OF THEM. If I could replicate those days precisely, including activity, clothes and food so that he would sleep better, I totally would.  I sometimes wonder if this is all making me a little bit on the crazy side.

The kiddos: Most exciting: Isaac's First Holy Communion was yesterday. It was a really beautiful, wonderful weekend.  Joe's parents were able to make it, the weather on Saturday and Sunday was fantastically gorgeous and my boy was happy. He looked so handsome. And grace. So much grace.

Two more weeks of school! So exciting :)

Crafting: Got my deadline project done. It was a scarf for our sweet babysitter/ housesitter who entered a convent on April 27th.  Plain black scarf. I am so glad we got a chance to meet her and have her get to know our family and to get to know her. She will be very much missed but I look forward to her prayers for us.

In the kitchen: Grilled bratwurst and pasta salad tonight. Homemade pizza tomorrow with turkey sausage, sauteed onion, sweet peppers and mushrooms. Yuuuum.

Bringing me joy: The sunshine on my face, warm breeze that smells like pine. Organized laundry room, Kolbe pup's memorial garden, kneeling next to my boy as he received his first Communion. Linens on the clothesline, and sleeping in them the first night.  Spending time with Joe's parents and seeing how much my children love them and they love the children.  I could go on.  Spring brings many things that bring me joy- it might have to be it's own post.

Picture to share: Sweet Celine came to have breakfast with us a few days before her entrance to the convent.  She is wearing the scarf I knit her :)