Ahhhh, sweet relief

Rain. After a gazillion days of it being eleventy billion degrees outside (what can I say? I like hyperbole), it is rainy and pretty cool this morning. My window is open. I am not sweating, which is nothing short of miraculous. I actually want to go and stand outside in the rain and do a little happy dance, but I fear that the neighbors might think I have lost it. I finally feel like if God has another month of pregnancy left for me, I might actually be able to do it.

This baby has been wild! the last few days. I have no idea what he is doing in there, but it is kinda painful at times. He really likes to press his feet into my ribs, push off, and jam his head into my cervix simultaneously. It is an interesting sensation, having a person in your body.

I would be lying if I said that I am not anxious about what the next 5 weeks will hold. I haaaate not not knowing what to expect. Will I go into labor or need to be induced? When? Will he be healthy? Will he need the lights? Spend time in the NICU? How is labor going to go this time? My labor with Liam was long and tiring, my labor with Adelle was rainbows and unicorn sparkles, obviously I know how I would like this one to go. Will I be able to advocate for myself and for the baby if the going gets tough?

I want to skip this part. Kind of desperately, actually.

But I am realizing that there is no way but through this one. Fantasizing about what it will be like when it is all over is all well and good, but that isn't exactly facing reality.

So I will do what I can and hope for strength. Strength to face whatever I need to face. I repeat it in my head- I am strong, George is strong. And we can get through this together.