It is quickly becoming apparent to me that life is happening and time isn't going to stop. My little girl will be turning 5-years-old in only 6 short days. 5-years-old. I'll save the sappy sweet post for her birthday, but it is this event that is jarring me into reality. She is going to grow up. She isn't going to be a little girl forever. At some point in the next ten years, she is going to become a young woman. As i type this, i am panicking a little on the inside. I mean, i always knew i wanted to have babies and to raise a family. But at some point i disconnected the fact that my babies would grow up to be adults.
And because my little girl is now about to be five, we are presented with a new parenting challenge... her education. How, when, where? We have three options here: public school, private school, and homeschooling. We are exploring all of these options, in the quest to find what suits her needs accordingly. It is turning out to be quite the task! She is very bright and picks up on things easily. She is already learning all the time.
I, too, am toying with some my plans to further my education. I have thought that when the kids were older, i would like to train to be a midwife. But i had no solid timeline for that. There has been a nudging in my heart lately that perhaps i should implement this plan sooner rather than later. But then i am discouraged by the logistics of it... which midwifery program, securing an apprenticeship, how to juggle midwifery and parenting. And i am right back where i started... with a deep desire in my heart to put birth back into the hands of birthing women, but no real concrete idea on how i could do that. I had previously been resigned to the fact that it just wasn't the season in my life for that, but now i am perplexed by the strong desire to take some action.
It is at times like these i wish God wasn't so subtle sometimes. Where is the burning bush when you need it? (N.B. There, i said it, it is out on the internet for the world to see. So when God whacks me upside the head with a glaring answer, you can all say "But careful what you ask for")
Edited to Add: In December, i started a blog about pregnancy and birth. Come check it out! I am going to try to update weekly at this point, probably on Fridays. The link is in the list of my favorite links on the right.
2 comments:
Mothering often feels like one really long prayer to me. Without God guiding me I would feel very lost, although like you I wish the signs were more obvious sometimes. I know you will figure out what is right for Issy's education and for your own. And you have a great sis who prays for you too!
I was thinking a little after we talked the other day and as I was doing some research of my own: here in Kansas a child is not 'required' to be educated officially anywhere until the age of 7. What are the laws up there (Idaho/Wyoming)? Maybe this doesn't have to be a pressure you need to put on yourselves (quite yet). Either way, yes it is hard, Steve said the other day that it is probably one of the hardest decisions ever with parenting and either way, there's always going to times where you feel confident about your decisions and times when you just don't. ;)
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