When I became pregnant with Issy, I accepted that my body was no longer solely my own. I shared it with her for nine months, giving her a place to grow until she was strong enough to be out here. But it didn't really stop there. We went on to have a 13 month nursing relationship and by the time she weaned, I was three months pregnant with Isaac. Who went on to nurse for 16 months. And you guessed it, by the time he weaned, little Liam was growing. And my Liam, who really likes to nurse, is now 26 months and showing no sign of stopping.... and so my body is still not solely my own.
When I got married when I was 20, I had the body of a teenager. Three pregnancies and three nurslings later, I have the body of a mother. The weight fluctuations have been frustrating. It seems after my initial weight loss after I have my babes, I gain ten pounds. Yuck. It has happened with all three of them. It is like my body is saying, "Wait, you have to nurse this kid still, lets store a little more fat!" And given that I come a family of relatively thin people, this is kind of a kicker to my self-esteem. And I start longing for that teenager body.
But this Mama body rocks. Seriously, it has done some amazing things- building people, making enough milk to grow them to a generous size, recovered from one birth and two c-sections (which is no small feat!) . This body is a giving body... it takes care of small people needs at night- getting drinks, snuggling, singing - when it would prefer 8 consecutive hours of sleep, it does laundry to cloth a small army, cooks when it is tired. This Mama body has served me well and I shouldn't take it for granted.
Health is the goal. I wasn't healthy when I was a teenager, weighed 115 lbs and was drinking 6 cans of Pepsi a day. I just was gifted with a great metabolism. So I vow to not wish for the teenager body. I am pretty sure it doesn't exist anymore anyways, lol. I have lost 17 lbs over the last nine months and I am feeling good in my skin. But it isn't about the longing for the teenager body, it is about embracing the Mama body and loving it for what it is. I have been more active and have been eating healthier and I have had a windfall of weight loss. I wasn't really trying for it, just trying to take care of this body, this blessed Mama body, this giving body. So it can do more great things
6 comments:
As I watch my waist disappear for the 2nd time and deal with a very clingy 18-month old, I needed to hear (or in this case, read) something like this to help me keep what all this change is ulitmately about in perspective- thanks for fulfilling that need for me!
it's funny, before I saw this post I was looking at the above one and noticing how great you look! Sexy mama!
Actually, I really like your new profile pick and if it's ok with you, I'm going to print it out and hang it somewhere. It reminds me a lot of you when we were young and unmarried and silly. ;)
Print away :)
thanks! ;)
I think you look great! Remember us thin gals still have mama bodies too, stretch marks, cellulite :) I agree with you on being much healthier now then as a teenager, wow the things I ate and my pal Coca Cola, we knew each other well :)
You GO girl!!!!!!! (er....mama).
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