I have been in a funk this week. And it really shouldn't be that way. I have taken extra care to be diligent in chores that sometimes slip (and then overwhelm me). I have really tried to be upbeat and in a good mood, hoping that would project onto the kiddos.
But alas. The "I am ready for spring to come, but it is still two months away" funk. The kids too. I am not sure if they are being more obnoxious (well, yes they are) or I just have a really low threshold for handling their whining and crying and fighting and did I mention whining? I think it is a combination of both and I am just at my wit's end.
This would be the less than glamorous side of being a stay at home Mom. The weeks when you just want to ship them off with relatives and have two or three days by yourself. Don't misunderstand- I love my kids with all my heart and I feel very blessed to get to stay at home with them. But I think that every Mom I know of has days (weeks? months?) like this. It is just hard to admit. Sometimes I am not perfect- my house is messy, the kids watch too much TV. They drive me crazy and frankly, I imagine that I drive them crazy too.
And then there are the weeks when we get to go hiking or to the park and play for hours or to the library and get ice cream afterward. Those are the weeks I am longing for.
Part of the problem is the restless feeling. We are visiting Kansas at the end of March, which everyone is very excited about. We just seem to be waiting not-so-patiently. After we get back, we are moving into a new house- more space, better layout, more room to breathe.
I just feel like we are on the cusp of all these exciting things- our visit, the move, setting up house and getting ready for the baby, her arrival. And this part is just bleh. I would pack, but honestly, whenever I try to do something productive, the kids just make a mess and it frustrates me. By the time they are in bed at night, I just want to relax and go to bed. Sometimes I can squeeze a hot bath or some knitting in there, but mostly just want to sleep.
So there, I have purged myself of all the yuckiness that has been building since Tuesday. And I hope to now get on with life. And hope my kids can happily follow along.
9 comments:
I can affirm that I have days like what you have described, and I only have two kiddos, and only for the last month at that!
Despite these frustrations you are still a wonderful mother and your kids are lucky to have you. Hang in there!
*hug*
xoxoxo
I second Elizabeth: Hang in there! Remember, you have so many people who love and support you guys, no matter how often you see us, you are never forgotten.
I didn't know you were moving... I'm totally jealous. I feel like our house is closing in on me. But there must be something up with the moon, cause I've definitely been in a deep funk lately too! I feel ya, sista! But hang in there. As I sang to my care home "grandparents" this week: "Look for the silver lining"! :)
Oh Erin, I hope things start going better for you. How bad is it that I only have one kiddo and we STILL have days and weeks like that. Just know that I'm pretty sure every mom out there has those times (even our own moms) and we don't remember those frustrating times. We just remember the fun good times (like going to the park and library and getting ice cream) from when we were growing up.
I didn't know you were moving! Congrats! Coming from our recent moving experience, I'm sure it's just what you need! It's amazing how much a bigger home can make you feel at home.
Take a deep breath and just breath. Good luck and I'll say an extra prayer for you and your kiddos. God bless!
Thanks for all of the commiseration! Writing it all out did indeed help- it has been better since then :)
Yes, we are moving in April. I am pretty excited about it. We are going to be closer to Joe's work, so the drive (in the summer at least) will only be about 30 minutes, instead of 45. The bedrooms are generously sized, so the boys are sharing a room and Issy and Adelle are "sharing" a room, although in reality, Adelle will be sharing with us for a while. There is also a finished basement (for the toys!) and a bedroom down there for the computer and our homeschooling room. And the master bathroom has the biggest bathtub I have ever seen :)
Hooray for a big bathtub. That is, if you can ever get some time to relax...
Totally off subject, but I stumbled across this and it made me think of days gone past...
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/09/mmmm-chest-hair.html
Oh, do I ever understand! (esp. the whining part)
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