I am patient, I am patient.

If you don't make fun of the dumb expressions on my face, I'll share a couple of belly pictures:

The belly, in all it's glory.

I am trying my hardest to be patient. It is working sometimes. About every third day, however, I start to think I just can't wait any longer. And yet, I have made it through several days like that so far :) The "It could be any day, but not likely for another week or three" thing can be emotionally tiring. So I have been trying my hardest to keep busy and to be grateful for this time. I find the days that I act and speak positively about the waiting, even if I don't feel it, are better than the days when I indulge my whiny and self-pitying side. Fake it until you make it, right?

The other factor in this situation is my utter lack of control over the situation. I find it fascinating that even with the vast knowledge we have about the human body, we don't really don't what exactly causes a woman to spontaneously go into labor. Yes, we know that it has to do with prostaglandins and oxytocin and various other hormones, we know that in normal circumstances the baby plays a part in initiating labor, but it is still pretty mysterious. So I sit here gestating, doing my part, but pretty much along for the ride.

And that is the best analogy I can come up with. It is like someone has told me that I am going to go on the scariest, best, most fun, sometimes terrifying, most exhausting road trip of my life. But I don't really get to know when it begins. I need to be prepared for it to happen anytime. I might be called upon this journey with little warning in the middle of the night. I might be given some signs in the hours proceeding so I can do some last minutes things. And labor and birth are just the beginning. After I do what amounts to the most physically, emotionally and spiritually strenuous work of my life, then I have a beautiful, soft, helpless newborn to take care of.

Sounds intense, doesn't it?

So I wait- as patiently as possible.