35 weeks- welcome to the pressure cooker

34 weeks

35 weeks

George is doing just fine. No problems with the MCA at his appointment yesterday. Moving well (extremely well!), practice breathing. His estimated weight is 6lbs 11oz at 35 weeks! The further along you get, the less accurate sonograms are at determining weight, but I think this is probably about right, given my experience.

I was, however, found to have low amniotic fluid. Which I have had to a greater or lesser extent with all my pregnancies. At 38 weeks with Issy, the doctor told me that he didn't feel like he had a real great chance of turning her because she didn't have a lot of fluid. We went with a repeat c-section with Isaac at 40 weeks when it was found that he didn't have very much fluid. Liam had on the low side of normal the last few weeks. And Adelle didn't have sonograms but I could tell by then, the way my belly feels in the last few weeks of pregnancy that she didn't have an overabundance either.

I think that this is just what my body does, for whatever reason.

But it gets the doctors excited! and then I get excited! and the momentum! of things make me think not so clearly.

It isn't that I don't think that keeping an eye on it isn't warranted. It *can* indicate problems with the placenta- that it isn't quite up to par anymore. But growth is obviously fine. And he did all his things that he is supposed to be doing. And his blood issues seem to be under control. So the fluid alone, especially given that this isn't my first trip around the low fluid block, doesn't seem to be all that alarming to me. Then I begin to think that perhaps it is pride, not wanting to admit that something might be off. Or perhaps I just have a more complete picture than they do? This is the first time it has crept up this early, so I don't really know anymore.

Because really, even if I am 99% sure that it is not a big deal, and I act accordingly and it turns out to be a Big Deal, how do I live with myself?

But I have to say, rightly or wrongly, the idea of being induced, with the needles and the procedures and the poking and prodding, makes me want to flee. And it makes me say, perhaps reasonably, I only want to be induced if I know there is a good reason for it- because he seems unwell. But do I really want to wait? When there are signs (perhaps inaccurate) that indicate that it might go that way?

Or not?

In my reading, oligohydramnios at term, while being otherwise low-risk, isn't necessarily an indicator of adverse outcomes. But I am not quite term. And he also has the blood incompatibility, which means he isn't really low-risk.

Since the amount of fluid has become an issue, I am going to be seeing the doctor twice a week instead of once.

So yes, that is our story, this far. My optimism, my fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude is running thin. I am raw. And worn out.