Ahhhhh, the little one. Beautiful, isn't he?The story of Liam sleeping with us, Part I: Pre-Liam
It would be difficult to understand where we are without understanding where we have come from. It all begins with Issy, ridiculously easy, mellow, laid-back infant that she was. I mean it too, this is no exaggeration. I mean, she was a little tricky the first month (two?) and she had the fussy in the evening, but then she was magical. If I just laid her down, she fell asleep on her own. No fussing- just cooing, then sleep. We had nursing issues at first and I couldn't nurse laying down because it made my guts feel like they were going to fall out because of the c-section. When she was almost three months old, she started doing these huge nursings in the evening (hours and hours) and in the morning, but she was sleeping through the night. She slept in a little pack and play by our bed, but boy, did she sleep.
Then Isaac came along. Nursing was much easier and he liked to nurse a lot at night, so I pushed through the "guts feeling like they are going to fall out" part and learned to nurse laying down. And it was fine until about 5 or 6 months, when he started being restless. So co-sleeping was no longer working, and we tried to get him to sleep in his own crib. There was a lot of rocking and patting and shushing and nursing. Then when he turned a year, things got easier and he was a little more persuadable. And he too, started sleeping in his own space.
Part II: Liam arrives
He liked to nurse at night and I wasn't recovering from a c-section, so nighttime was much easier. He nursed and I would put him in a bassinet beside our bed (or not). At 5 or 6 months, he hit the "restless" phase and we side-carred a crib (basically, you shove a crib with one side off up against your bed) so he could have his own sleeping space. This worked awesome for a while.
Part III: The Ear Infection Phase
From about 11 months- 16 months, he had as many ear infections as not, so he would nurse and flail and nurse and flail and cry all night long. It was rather torturous for all involved.
Part IV: The End of the Ear Infection Phase and Nightweaning
So, during the ear infection phase be became accustomed to nursing all night long, which was fine for that time period when he really needed it, notsomuch for when he was all better. So we nightweaned him and it was glorious. He slept in his room until 3 or 4 or 5 a.m. then came to join us.
Part V:Liam Turns Two
I should have expected this, but I didn't. It happened with Issy, it happened with Isaac. When both of them turned two, they realized they could get out of bed at night and come to Mom and Dad's room. And they preferred it there. No biggie with them, we set up a little bed on the floor so they could slip in relatively undisturbed. Well, Liam started it too. Going to bed at 7:30 or 8 and then waking up at 10:30 and coming down to our room. But being the stubborn little fella he is, he wanted nothing to do with a bed on the floor, he wanted in bed where all the warm snuggling was.
Part VI: The Present
Which brings us to this point in time. And the love/hate relationship with co-sleeping. I love it when he walks into the room all sleepy, hair rumpled, puts his arms out, waiting to be loved and snuggled. Very sweet. He usually asks for a drink of water, then yawns and rubs his eyes. I love to watch him relax near immediately as he lays down in his Daddy's arms. And his little limbs get all limp and he closes his eyes and falls back into his little sleepy world.
Then I decide to go to sleep. And sometimes the night is ok and there is minimal encroachment upon my space. And then there are night like last night, where his little feet find me near continuously all night and he plants (seemingly) strategically placed kicks on me just to interrupt my sleep. And I keep shoving him over near his Papa and he finds me again. And again.
Sigh. I think I need a king-sized bed.
And yet, I have this feeling that he would still find me and kick me.
It would be difficult to understand where we are without understanding where we have come from. It all begins with Issy, ridiculously easy, mellow, laid-back infant that she was. I mean it too, this is no exaggeration. I mean, she was a little tricky the first month (two?) and she had the fussy in the evening, but then she was magical. If I just laid her down, she fell asleep on her own. No fussing- just cooing, then sleep. We had nursing issues at first and I couldn't nurse laying down because it made my guts feel like they were going to fall out because of the c-section. When she was almost three months old, she started doing these huge nursings in the evening (hours and hours) and in the morning, but she was sleeping through the night. She slept in a little pack and play by our bed, but boy, did she sleep.
Then Isaac came along. Nursing was much easier and he liked to nurse a lot at night, so I pushed through the "guts feeling like they are going to fall out" part and learned to nurse laying down. And it was fine until about 5 or 6 months, when he started being restless. So co-sleeping was no longer working, and we tried to get him to sleep in his own crib. There was a lot of rocking and patting and shushing and nursing. Then when he turned a year, things got easier and he was a little more persuadable. And he too, started sleeping in his own space.
Part II: Liam arrives
He liked to nurse at night and I wasn't recovering from a c-section, so nighttime was much easier. He nursed and I would put him in a bassinet beside our bed (or not). At 5 or 6 months, he hit the "restless" phase and we side-carred a crib (basically, you shove a crib with one side off up against your bed) so he could have his own sleeping space. This worked awesome for a while.
Part III: The Ear Infection Phase
From about 11 months- 16 months, he had as many ear infections as not, so he would nurse and flail and nurse and flail and cry all night long. It was rather torturous for all involved.
Part IV: The End of the Ear Infection Phase and Nightweaning
So, during the ear infection phase be became accustomed to nursing all night long, which was fine for that time period when he really needed it, notsomuch for when he was all better. So we nightweaned him and it was glorious. He slept in his room until 3 or 4 or 5 a.m. then came to join us.
Part V:Liam Turns Two
I should have expected this, but I didn't. It happened with Issy, it happened with Isaac. When both of them turned two, they realized they could get out of bed at night and come to Mom and Dad's room. And they preferred it there. No biggie with them, we set up a little bed on the floor so they could slip in relatively undisturbed. Well, Liam started it too. Going to bed at 7:30 or 8 and then waking up at 10:30 and coming down to our room. But being the stubborn little fella he is, he wanted nothing to do with a bed on the floor, he wanted in bed where all the warm snuggling was.
Part VI: The Present
Which brings us to this point in time. And the love/hate relationship with co-sleeping. I love it when he walks into the room all sleepy, hair rumpled, puts his arms out, waiting to be loved and snuggled. Very sweet. He usually asks for a drink of water, then yawns and rubs his eyes. I love to watch him relax near immediately as he lays down in his Daddy's arms. And his little limbs get all limp and he closes his eyes and falls back into his little sleepy world.
Then I decide to go to sleep. And sometimes the night is ok and there is minimal encroachment upon my space. And then there are night like last night, where his little feet find me near continuously all night and he plants (seemingly) strategically placed kicks on me just to interrupt my sleep. And I keep shoving him over near his Papa and he finds me again. And again.
Sigh. I think I need a king-sized bed.
And yet, I have this feeling that he would still find me and kick me.
9 comments:
I feel your pain! Melanie joins us any time after 4:00 and seems to think my pillow is her pillow, and wants to nestle up right next to me, which when I don't have a basketball sized protrusion sticking out in front of me is fine, but the snuggling isn't so much fun with the 7-months pregnant body and the wormy sleeper that is my daughter. And she doesn't seem at all interested in staying on Matt's side of the bed when I scoot her over there, either. Should be very interesting once baby #2 gets here...
This has been such an educational and encouraging post for me. I love it!!! I obsess (and when I say obsess, I mean OBSESS) about every aspect of Gemma's sleep, naps, etc. etc. etc. SOOOOO this has been very interesting, very telling, and, well thank you. And now that I sound like a total sleep dork (or maybe I'm just a baby dork in general), I'm going to cut this off. Thanks Erin. And, for the record, good luck with the kicks, little stinker!!
Yes, it will be interesting to see how this goes as my pregnancy progresses. We are thinking about getting a twin mattress so that either Joe can sleep on it and let Liam sleep in bed with me or trying to get Isaac and Liam to sleep together in it.
Glad I could be of help :) Honestly, after Liam was born, my philosophy became, "As long as everyone is asleep, I don't really care where". I figure it'll iron itself out someday, so we will do what we can to get everyone comfortable now.
We have done many different sleeping arrangements and there is always tweaking to be done but yes as a long as everyone is asleep pretty much any arrangement goes.
don't count on a king sized bed helping much. we have one and ben still pirates my pillow and lays sideways while kicking. he's had a cold and has become our nightly companion and i'm a fearin' its becoming a habit. max and i end up sleeping on the edge of the bed. but even with all that, i'm usually just thankful that he goes back to sleep. there's been a couple nights when he decides to have a party and just wiggles around for a couple hours, adds new contacts in tim's phone, sends text messages, etc. these silly babies. what was in the air in 2006!
this was a most exhausting post to read! You make mothering sound hard ;)
I'm still jealous of your sweet baby Issy...
however, it was also encouraging in the way all posts are that assure me that I am not the only one with the same issues and that no matter how hard it is, we all just keep on loving them...
Maybe you snore? I poke/kick/harass Erik when he does so and we DO have a king sized bed ....
now, do the animals co-sleep? we'd been gone for 10 days and my cat wouldn't get the hell off my feet last night ... BIG problem. She likes to steal body heat all night long. Something about being under 8 pounds. lightweight.
I don't snore, but Joe does on occasion and I usually poke him and tell him to sleep on his stomach. It annoys him but it is really hard to fall asleep when he is snoring.
Now that it is winter and the cat is spending the majority of her time indoors, she has been sleeping on the bed most nights. Luckily, she likes to sleep in the space between my feet and Joe's at the bottom of the bed. Given our situation, I don't think I could handle more touching and if she tried to sleep on my feet that would get her a one-way ticket out to the couch and our bedroom door shut.
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