"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -- Elizabeth Stone
I was laying in bed early this morning, nursing the baby and this quote came to mind. It is so spot on, at least for me. I remember being a teenager, surrounded by nieces and nephews and dreaming of the day when it would be my turn to get married and have a baby.
A baby. Even during our engagement, when Joe and I first started talking about our future family, that is what I thought of- babies.
Perhaps it was very shortsighted of me not to think about how my babies would someday grow into toddlers. Then preschoolers. Then kids. (and teenagers and adults eventually, but I still try not to think too much about that :) Maybe it was God's grace that led my short-sighted 20 year old self to think only about holding a soft, squishy baby and not think about all the sacrifice it would require to raise that baby into an adult and all the stages in between. Because really, if I had been aware of the sacrifice/ sorrow/ raw vulnerability that accompanied the overwhelming joy and Love, would I have jumped into parenthood with such abandon? Perhaps not. But I am forever thankful I did.
I think the first time the above quote became real for me was when
Issy was faced with finding friends for the first time. She was so sad. And I couldn't make things better for her. There was no kiss-your-owie-and-make-it-all-better fix. I realized that was just the beginning, too. Over the years, especially as they grow in independence and encounter the world outside their home, there will be numerous occasions like that one. Some smaller and some bigger. I can help at times, but some growing pains situations they will have to navigate on their own. I hope to always be their soft place to land, though.
So what is a Mama to do? As I reflected on this, my recent post about
Our Lady of Sorrows came to mind. Perhaps there is more than one reason God led me to choose that day. What a comfort. She was a Mama, watching her Son grow, navigate His way through sometimes painful situations. She shared in His absolute heavenly joy and his infinite Love. And when He was sentenced to death and crucified, she was there.
She was His soft place to land. How good it was of Him to give his mother to us- "When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, 'Woman, behold, your son.' Then he said to the disciple, 'Behold, your mother.' And from that hour the disciple took her into his home." (Jn 19: 26-27) What an awesome intercessor for mothers.
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Adelle says, "Hmmm, which pumpkin should I choose?"
Zipline
Adelle was not feeling very cooperative with the group picture effort. In fairness, it was almost naptime for her.
Silly boys
