A daughter

If everything goes well, I will be holding a baby girl in my arms in another five-ish months. We went to the doctor yesterday and got to see our little Spud, a girl we have named Adelle, stubbornly trying to hide herself. She got herself all curled up, not interested in our attempts to check her out. It is ok, precious girl, after our appointment with the perinatalogist in a couple of weeks I hope we don't have to take anymore sneak peeks at you. I hope to leave you to grow in peace and quiet until that day in June when you decide to make your appearance.

And that is what we are left with now, because that is the only thing that can get us through these precarious days- hope. Hope that she won't have the antigen. Hope that the amnio goes smoothly. Hope that if she does have the antigen, she can be a strong girl and hang in there until it is ok for her to be born. What else can we do?

But hope doesn't necessarily banish the anxiety that lurks below. I try not to indulge myself, but sometimes it boils up. And the what-ifs crash over me: what if she has the antigen? what about all the sonograms? what if she is severely effected? the cord transfusions? a premature baby? what if she dies? And all I can go back to is hope. Because I am wildly powerless in this situation. Motherhood is one huge exercise in hope.

So for now, I will appreciate that I have this precious girl inside me, kicking and growing. And hope.

A hat (for Spud?)

I found a pattern for the Norwegian Baby Cap and had to try it! I used Fleece Artist sock yarn (which is the same kind of yarn I am doing my current socks in) and I love the colors! I made the 6 month size, hoping that Spud could wear it next winter, but my gauge was off, so I don't think that is going to happen. It is only a tad bit snug on Liam, so perhaps Spud can wear it the winter after next. He was good enough to model for me, even though the yarn leans more "girl" than gender neutral. He is a good son. Here are a couple side shots:

Front shot (if he looks a little under the weather, that is because he is, poor guy)

With the flash

In natural light

So now that I have gotten that finished, I am going to start working on the second sock!

One down....

I have had some knitting time in the last few day because a) Liam had the stomach flu on Friday so we spent the day on the couch watching Dora and trying to convince him he didn't want to eat/drink because he was just going to get sick again. Good times. and b) I was at the yarn shop on Saturday. So I got to complete the first of my lacy, beautiful, springy (as in springtime, not bouncy) socks. This first pose, let me say, not terribly easy to take a picture of your own leg like that. Maybe even moreso during gestation. But I made the commitment to contort myself because I thought it was a nice way to show off the sock.


So now you all know that one entire sock is completed. So that we don't have a fiasco like the one mentioned in the previous post, where beautiful socks were put down for over a year, I need to ask a favor. Please harass me about working on the second sock. I might not get to it until this weekend, because you know, I have to take care of the kids and clean and make food and stuff. Just periodically ask me how it is going. Accountability.

In this post in November 2007 I shared a sock that I had completed. Over a year later, here is the pair. It is silly, really. I knit the cuff of the second sock, messed up after the heel and put it down for a loooong time. Last Saturday, I decided to fix the boo boo- I think it took about half and hour :P It only took a few days to finish the rest of the sock. And here is the finished product:


I decided that I wouldn't start any socks until those were finished, which led to a loooong break. To celebrate completing those, I decided to start some new socks. In this post from September 2007 you can see this yarn knit up. I decided that I didn't like that pattern with this yarn, so I decided to frog it. And I found the Spring Forward pattern instead and it seemed like a great pattern for the yarn. My first venture into lace knitting (albeit, a pretty simple pattern). It is going very well so far and I am determined not to get sidetracked by small mistakes. Here is my progress:

My big little girl

She finally lost her tooth! She discovered it was loose on Thanksgiving. And that the adult tooth was already growing in behind it. Almost two months later, it finally fell out (well, was pulled). The reason there isn't much of a hole is that much of the other tooth has already grown in. Hello, orthodontia.

She begged me to take this picture for her. These are her two favorite dollies.

19 wks and my midwife appt

19 wk belly view from above

I had my appointment with the Rexburg midwife group this morning. It went surprisingly well! There are three midwives in a group together, and two OB's who handle the high risk stuff. The midwife I spoke with today, Rachel, seemed very personable and thorough. She was very pleased that I was able to have a vba2c with my last birth and said that made things much easier (since now I have the elusive "proven pelvis"). It also bodes well that even though I was sensitized during my last two pregnancies, my babies were healthy. We also discussed induction, should that become necessary, and there didn't seem to be a problem with doing a foley induction like last time.

Basically, since I am higher risk because of the kell they will be in close contact with their consulting OB's and I might have to see them some, but I should be able to do at least some of my care with the midwives. I will be having a 20 wk anatomy scan the 29th and meeting the OB's and talking with them.

They have been in contact with the perinatologists that come to Idaho Falls from Salt Lake City once a week. My appointment is indeed going to be Feburary 11th and we will be doing the amnio that day. Bleh. I mean, I want to get the amnio overwith, but I really loathe doing them. The idea of my baby sharing my womb with a big needle, however briefly, is extremely disconcerting. But if we do it and the babe is negative, we can just leave him or her alone, to grow in peace. Unfortunately, if the baby has the antigen, I will have to go to IF for all my MCA dopplers, they don't do them in Rexburg. And I suspect that if tranfusions become necessary, we will be going to SLC, since that is where the perinatologists are based out of.

So at this point, everything is all lined up with everyone and we have to take it an appointment at a time. Little Spud has made his/her presence known in the last week- I am really starting to notice the punches and the rolling. I think this is going to be a fiesty baby!

School days

We started back with school in full force at the beginning of the new year, which brought back that nice rhythm to our days. When we moved all three beds into the same room, we had an extra room, now deemed the "Activity Room. It houses their dressers, the toys and all our books and homeschooling things. We had been schooling in the dining room, which sometimes presented a challenge keeping Liam out of trouble. It is working better in the Activity Room, since all his toys are in there and he can't escape as easily. Here is what we have been up to:

Isaac's godmother, Aunt Patty, sent him a workbook as a Christmas gift so he could do school just like Issy. He loves it! He is very bright and catches on very quickly. I love his enthusiasm.

Liam playing with some toys while I worked with the other kids. See how neatly he lined them up? Yup, then he knocked them down with glee.

Issy working on math, while Ewok the cat joins in.

Part of school today was working on the map of the USA that Isaac got for Christmas. It was a nice break from doing workbooks and undoubtedly educational. Especially for this geography-challenged Mama :)

No appointment today, folks

So on Tuesday, I was feeling very proud of myself. I had managed to obtain the number of the midwife group I will be using, called, scheduled an appointment. Even arranged childcare. Then yesterday I got a call in the afternoon that went some like this:

Lady That Works for the Midwive's Office (heretofore referred to just as "Lady"): Hi, is this Mrs. Marney?

Me: Yes, it is (in my best phone voice)

Lady: Oh, did you happen to get my message yet?

Me: No, I have been busy, I must have missed it (i.e. I was taking a nap with my toddler).

Lady: We missed you today at 2:40

Me: Oh, I had scheduled that appointment for Friday.

Lady: Well, I had you down for today.

Me: I had told the person scheduling the appointment that I needed Friday, since I knew I would be busy today. It must have been a misunderstanding...

Lady: Oh, that is fine.....

And we go on to schedule an appointment for next Wednesday at ten in the morning instead. Sigh. And I had syked myself up for it and everything. Seriously, it is extremely difficult for me to walk into medical-ish buildings. After all the time I have spent in the places, mostly with fear and anticipation, I don't have good feelings about it. So it takes a bit of mental preparation for me to do it.

Oh well. So next Wednesday it is then. Got the babysitter rescheduled, which the kids are thrilled to pieces about (actually the babysitter is too.) I'll keep ya'll updated!

A visit from Anna

Our dear friend came to visit us this last week and we had a lot of fun! The kids adore her and a good time was had by all.

Playing in the snow. They built "Frosty" and a snow fort next to him.

Enjoying hot chocolate afterward. They were out there a long time!

Spa night. They soaked all soaked their feet, then took turns putting lotion on each other.

I got to take her cross country skiing... this is her fancy pose.

Saying good-bye is always hard. There were tears, but everyone started to feel better after we talked about what a fun week it was.

18 week belly

If you hang out with me here, you will have to endure me blathering on about pregnancy every so often. This is one of those posts, so if you aren't interested, skip it ;)

This pregnancy has been so weird. So not like my pregnancies with my boys. The nausea lasted longer (bleh) and I ended up losing 10 lbs my first trimester, which is ridiculous. I love having an appetite now, although I can't eat much at a time and some things still don't sound very good. I am eagerly awaiting the "look like a 15-year-old" acne's departure, though it does seem to be getting better. With the boys, I started to "pop" (a euphemism for: my stomach muscles gave up and I started looking pregnant even though it was mostly organs being displaced) much earlier than with this little one. In many, many ways this prenancy is highly similar to my pregnancy with Issy and notsomuch my pregnancy with the boys. Having a girl? Joe feels confident enough to call the baby "she". We'll see!

Everything is all set on the "prenatal care" front. I got an appointment with midwife group in Rexburg and will be seeing them on Friday. I also have an appointment with the parenatologist set for Feb 11th. This is later than I would like (ideally, they would do the first doppler/amnio at about 20 weeks- I will be 22) but since I made the appointment and not my midwives, they just had to take my word for it and they gave me the "first available". I am hoping my midwives can pull some strings and get them to fit me in earlier, so that will be a topic of discussion on Friday, but I don't know.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't apprehensive about all this. New midwives, new doctors, bloodwork, amnio, lots of driving, working out babysitters for the kiddos, lots of decisions to make if the baby is positive. I am trying not to be overwhelmed by the whole situation. Seriously, one breath at a time at this point. Make the best decisions we possibly can for baby Spud.

Two skiing posts in one day!

So I did some skiing today and I had to share my pictures. This is Teton Canyon, which is about 10 minutes from our house. The trail conditions were really good and I got a a gooood workout. I tell you, if I keep skiing, I am going to have some seriously toned legs and triceps! It was tiring but exhilarating. It was cold, 9 degrees when I started, but the sun came out and it was really gorgeous. I love snow!

Yay for skiing

Last week, I got a a chance to try out my new cross country skis! It was very fun, though the trail conditions weren't great because it was snowing a lot. As soon as they groomed it, it was covered in several more inches of powdery snow. But it was peaceful and it was quiet, which are things that this mother can appreciate. Just my skis, parting the powdery snow with each step, gaining rhythm. The sound of my breath and the snow falling on my coat. The chill on my face. Solitude.

Ringing in the New Year with (marginally) better sleep

Happy New Year!

An update on my last post: the last couple of nights have been better. Tons better than the night that I wrote about, but better than the violent sleeping in our bed, too. It has taken them about 30 minutes to settle down in evening. Then he has slept a pretty good stretch before coming out. And it hasn't been too hard to get him back in his bed. Probably the trickiest part at this point is staying in his room in the middle of the night to make sure he falls back asleep.

It is definitely a step in the right direction, though :)

*yawn*

Earlier in the month, I explained my love/hate relationship with co-sleeping with Liam. Well, in the last few weeks, he has upped the ante. It went from being somewhat uncomfortable, though tolerable, to not working at all in a few weeks time.

Basically, he has gotten more restless and more kicky and I just can't sleep with him anymore. Even when Joe sleeps on the couch, he finds me in the big queen bed, sleeps with his head digging in my back and kicks me. Not cool.

This combined with the fact that a) my belly is only going to get bigger and more cumbersome b) it is really hard to get comfortable in bed when I am largely pregnant anyways, sans the kicking toddler and c) the newborn that will be in our bed in a few months, we decided it was time to bite the bullet and try out something different that respected his need for companionship and everyone's need for a good night's sleep.

The Solution: The Sibling Bed(room)
As you can see from our picture, we moved Issy and Isaac into a room with Liam (his is the bed in the middle, he wouldn't turn around and pose for the picture) in hopes that he would feel comfortable enough to stay in his room, since he would have them in there. And that then he would not feel the need to sleep in our bed and harass me all night.

It is really nice in theory, isn't it? But as with many things with 2-year-olds (well, at least Liam) there is a large gap between the theory and the practice. As of last night, it was a total bust, but that only means that there is no where to go but up, right? (RIGHT?!) At this point, we are just going to have to stick to it and hope it catches on quickly because the alternative wasn't working either. And I want him to get used to it well before the baby comes so it is not perceived as a "baby usurping my position" thing. Honestly, I would be more than willing to let him sleep in our bed indefinitely if it was working. But it Just. Is. Not. Here is him this morning after being awake from 1:00 to 6:30 a.m. Trust me, you don't want a picture of me or Joe this morning :P
A final reflection: Honestly, I had no idea that parenting would be this hard. Seemingly simple things liking sleeping and eating with ease and unhasseled are a distant memory. Know what, though? It is totally worth it. I remember in college, I would nap for hours and hours a day even though I had a full nights sleep. But I didn't appreciate it. Now, every hour of uninterrupted sleep is hard fought and I see it for the gift it is. It helps to know that there is an end to all this too. I trust that it will not always be like this. When Liam is 16 the problem will most likely be how to get him *out* of bed and I won't have to hold his hand while he falls asleep.

Sweet dreams to all my readers :)

A Marney Family Christmas

At 4:22 a.m. Issy came in to tell us that Santa had come and it was time to get up. We assured her that even though Santa had come, it was definitely not time to get up yet. We put her on the little bed on the floor of our room. About an hour later (and I am pretty sure she was awake during that time) she told us it was time to get up and again, we told her not yet. Apparently, she fell back asleep, because Isaac came in shortly after seven and we got up.

Liam has decided to would like to go live with his godparents, Mary and Tim, so he was attempting to package himself up.

Mmmmm, chocolate before breakfast.

Isaac and Joe plotting putting together Isaac's United States floor puzzle.

We got them all skis, which they insisted on trying out in the living room.

Yum, snow!

Trying out the new skis. They were actually really good at it! They have kind of creepy clowns on them, but they were a good deal and the kids seemed pleased. They just strap on to their boots!

Issy and her much wanted American Girl Doll.

Singing Happy Birthday to Jesus.

We enjoyed an Apple cake for Jesus' birthday, it was delicious!

Preparing for Christmas

This is our Learning Shelf, that houses our books, puzzles, crayons and other educational toys for when we do our schooling. This year, we decided to decorate it for advent. We have our Jesse tree, which we have been decorating with symbols of salvation history that lead up to the birth of Christ. We have our advent wreath, that has candles for the four Sundays of Advent, in which we nestled the baby Jesus. And we have our Nativity set, minus Jesus, who will get to move over there on Christmas morning. The kids have really enjoyed our advent activities and the focus has been on Christ's birth at Christmas.

We are very excited to get to spend our Christmas here as a family. We are definitely going to miss all our family and friends in Kansas, but are looking forward to relaxing and making some of our own traditions here. And I am thankful not to be traveling since I has been snowing for the better part of the last week and a half.

Have a merry and blessed Christmas and know we miss you all!

A sweater for ME!

Yay, my beautiful purple sweater is done! I started it the day that I found out I was pregnant in early October. And I finished it right in time... the baby belly popped this week :)

The way the sweater is laying in the picture makes me look bigger than I actually am. See those beautiful ribbons? As the baby gets bigger, I can make them looser to accommodate the belly. I am very pleased with my first venture into sweaterhood :)

Ode to Ewok

They make a big show of annoying each other while they are in the house, but when they are outside, Ewok goes up to Clementine and gives her love.

See, ya'll hung in there with me when I didn't update for a while, and now things are paying off for you, eh?

Karen has inspired me to take more pictures of my cute, sweet kitty Ewok. We got Ewok when she was just a little kitten, about a year before we were married and she lived in my Dad's basement for six months. She had a brief stint living with some friends when we first moved up here and then she came to live with us last December. She is a sweet, sweet, patient, loving girl. I mean patient. She was actually purring in these last two pictures, even though there was excessive hugging.

This last summer, at the ripe age of 7, she decided she wanted to be an outdoor kitty. Would show up every couple of nights to eat. And now that there is lots of snow on the ground, she has decided she would like to be an indoor cat again. Spoiled kitty.