Just wow.

I have been wanting to sit down and write about things, but most of what I have been feeling has been beyond anything I could put into words. I have not felt like this while pregnant since before I found out that Issy was breech. Since then, pregnancy has been one drama after the next. Trying to find joy in the fact that there is a life growing inside me, but all the while, worried about the next test, the next sono, the next doctor's appointment.

Now feel like I finally have the freedom to just *be* pregnant. To trust that she is growing and well- to not be worried that my antibody is attacking her blood and making her sick. The freedom to make plans to birth her gently at home, surrounded by people that love her. No NICU, no transfusions, just snuggling with her family after she is born.

Just relief. And joy :)

Results are in!

We found out today that Adelle is negative for the Kell antigen!

The rest of the story:
The drive was *much* smoother today than last week. I went alone this week and I rocked out to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. I am a really fantastically good singer when I am in the car alone ;) I am hoping that even in utero, I am able to instill in Adelle a love for musicals, but especially the Phantom of the Opera. Someday she'll thank me for this :)

Made much better time this week, which was nice. Got in there, and I had a new sonogram technician. He did all the growth measurements and then went on to the MCA doppler. I have watched 45 or 50 of these done, so I know what constitutes a "good" reading, and I could tell he wasn't getting one. Her reading was very high, in the transfusion range. I was concerned, to say the least, but I was planning on having the doctor/ another tech do one to make sure the results duplicated.

Unfortunately, right as my sono was done, the doctor got called away into surgery. So I knitted ferociously, trying not to stress out about the bad readings. And I waited.

Finally, the doctor came in. He said that he was trying to obtain the amnio results and he decided to do an MCA himself. I could tell that he got a much better, more accurate reading. And his results was waaaay out of transfusion range. He was about to repeat his to make sure he got to the same thing when the nurse came and with the result of the amnio. Negative!!! I cried, I was just so relieved.

So we are done with that. No more MCAs, no more high-risk doctor. She just gets to grow in peace and in quiet until she picks an early summer day to make her appearance.

I finished the socks!

Here is Adelle's other Sheepy Sack.

Finished socks! I still need to wash and block the second one, but they are beautiful and cozy. I loved the pattern! It was pretty simple, but looks elegant.

Liam wanted me to take a picture of his feet since I was taking pictures of mine :)

And glad to be done with that...

Gracious, it was a heck of a day. I'll cut to the chase, in case you just want the scoop. And if you don't mind my rambling, you can stay. Adelle looks fine. We got in there and did the MCA first and it was just as it should be. Doctor came in to check and see if we could do the amnio today. She had moved to head down, as I thought she had (hooray!) and there was a nice space right up by her tush. So we did it. She did fine during the amnio, no flailing movements. Heartbeat was good afterwards.

The long version: Got up early, got Issy up and dressed (She went with me since Joe wasn't going. We had a discussion about what they would do and if she thought she wanted to go still.) We left by seven for the nine o'clock appointment. It had snowed Monday night, Tuesday and Tuesday night and the roads were bad. I hate driving in snow. It was slow and steady torture. I did fine, I am getting better at it, I just prefer not to- which is good since Joe prefers to. It was like two hours of a really unfun video game. Bleh.

So we got there at nine and I have to say that I have never had a dr's appt last that short of an amount of time. It was great. They just took me back, did the sono, did the amnio, and bam! out the door. Like 45 minutes from the time I walked in to the time I walked out. This seriously cut down on the anxiety that comes with having to wait and wait and wait. Adelle was finally cooperative with the sonographer and I got to she her profile. She is lovely. She had her hand curled up by her face. Issy was very good distraction during my amnio, she just held my hand and I talked to her. She is a very loving and empathic little girl, I am glad she is mine :)

The unfortunate part about the very short and efficient appointment was that it meant that after only a short reprieve we had to get back in the car and drive the two hours back. Had I not just had an amnio, I would have gone somewhere to hang out, but that just didn't sound appealing at the time. So we did. The upside (because I like to try to be an optimist) is that the tedious drive back kept my mind off of worrying about the baby. We arrived home safely and are no worse for the wear.

Adelle has been feisty the rest of the day and I have been trying to rest. I am still a bit crampy, but that happens. I hope to feel better after a good night's sleep. I feel confident in my doctor's ability... when I asked what his personal statistics were with doing amnios, he said he hasn't lost a baby yet. And I am really glad to be done with it.

So now we wait. Probably a couple of weeks. We go back for the MCAs the next couple of weeks until we find out either way. If she is positive... more MCAs. If she is negative, we leave her alone. So that is our story. We appreciate all the love and support and prayers that we have received so far!

Another appointment tomorrow

So I am going to be going to have an ultrasound and see the perinatologist again tomorrow. I am feeling apprehensive about this, surprise surprise. A couple things will/might happen tomorrow. We'll do an MCA doppler to see if she is looking okay in regards to that. I am hoping that she will be bumped down to the lower monitoring category, since she was borderline last week.

Joe will not be coming with me tomorrow, because we decided that since she looked good last week, we didn't want him to take off work. He'll go with me in a week or two or if it starts to look like there is a problem. I just don't want him to waste his time off if she is looking good.

If baby and placenta are in a good position, I am going to have the amnio tomorrow. I know she has moved... and I am about 90% sure she isn't breech right now. The kicks are different- she either turned around and went head down or it is feasible that she could have just pulled her legs up, although I don't think the part in the fundus is a head. Doesn't seem hard enough. We shall see, I suppose. Actually, this is the fun part for me... seeing if I can figure out what position she is in.

Please pray for good weather for the drive tomorrow. There is snow forecasted and I really don't like driving in snow :P

Modifying the Very Baby All-in-One pattern to be a fitted

Before Liam was born, I bought the Very Baby AIO pattern to make some fitted diapers for him. I had heard good things about the way it fit and it seemed simple. Since I wanted an absorbent diaper to be used with a cover instead of having it's own waterproof part, the pattern needed some modifying. Some of these modifications are just personal preference and don't change the way the diaper works or fits, mostly just aesthetics and I will note that.

The tedious part, cutting out the pieces. I have an outer layer (hot air balloon flannel), inner layer (it has been a while since I bought this, but I want to say blue suede cloth... it is very soft against the skin) and some scrap cotton that I will sew the abosorbent layers too. This middle part will not be seen at all, so I just get cheap stuff out of the clearance fabric. Note: if you are going to use light colored outer or inner, make sure you use a light colored scrap, you don't want this showing through.Sew the absorbant layers to the scrap piece of cotton. I am using a microfiber towel here, trifolded (for a newborn). You can get these in the automotive department of walmart or target, they are relatively cheap and very absorbent. Any kind of cotton works well too, though, so a cut up old t-shirt will do if that is what you have. You kind of have to tweak layers to find out what works as far as absorbancy. You want a balance of what works for your baby/something that cleans well and doesn't take forever to dry. I suggest erring on the side of less until you figure out what works, since you can always throw a doubler in if you need to.

This is one of those personal preference steps. The directions call for sewing all the aplix on at the same time after you have put the diaper together. I, personally, like to sew the aplix that will be on the outer on before I put the diaper together. Less layers to go through.

Now we are going to put the diaper together. Here are the layers before you pin it: the outer (balloons) and inner (blue) go right sides together. Then put the absorbant layer on top, pad down. Pin these together before you sew them, pinning the sides, and what will end up being the top back (the long part). Leave the short part (what will be the front) open so that you can turn it rightside out later.All three layers sewed together. Get ready for the elastic.The pattern has marked where to put the elastic for the legs and back. I think it works well. After you are done with the elastic, turn the right side out. The the absorbant pad should be against the inner and the right sides should end up out on both the inner and outer.Personal preference again. After I turn it right sides out, I straight stitch along the outer edge of the elastic. This makes for a tidier edge. I do this for both the leg elastic and the top back elastic.Fold over the part that did not end up being sewed together with the rest of the diaper. Sew these top edges together.

Sew on the aplix. The outer ones on each side close the diaper. The inner ones are so you can fold over the outer ones for non-sticking in the laundry.

On my top outer flannel, I sew on some more aplix so that I can pull it over to make it snugger.All done!

Diaper and belly

The first diaper I've made for Adelle. I used the Very Baby pattern- very easy and cute. Issy was particularly excited about it. I am about halfway through a second one and cut out all the pieces for five more. She is going to have a spoiled tushie by the time she is born.

The belly at 22wks. I think she grew in the last week. And yes, I wear this shirt often. Don't worry- I wash it. I usually do our laundry on the weekend and it is one of the first I grab for since it still fits nicely.

Update on Baby Adelle

Well, for the first news: Adelle is currently looking just fine. She isn't photogenic, something her Daddy is going to have to break her of after she is born. Unlike her brothers, she isn't terribly cooperative with the ultrasound tech getting a profile of her face. I kinda like this stubborn streak in her, though. Kind of like she is saying, "Alright, look in here if you want, but I am not doing anything cutesy" Her organs all looked good: 3 vessel cord, heart, kidneys, diaphragm, spine. She is growing just like she should.

They did an MCA doppler to check for anemia. The description: The sonographer locates the cerebral artery in the baby's brain. They isolate a section of it for a few seconds at a time to check the rate of the blood flow. Then they plot a point according to what the velocity was and what her gestational age is. She is currently on the line between the "check every 1 week" and "check every 2 or 3 weeks" but is firmly out of the transfusion range. So until we know more, we are checking every week. I am hoping by next week she bumps down into the "check every couple of weeks" category.

And here is the kicker: after talking with the doctor, we decided not to do an amnio today. Because of the way she is laying in there right now (breech, with her big ol' noggin at the top) and the fact that the placenta is up at the top there with her, he couldn't get as good of an angle for an amnio as he would have liked. He said he could do it, but that if we waited a week or two that hopefully the placenta/the baby would shift and make for a easier, less risky entry for the needle. So until then we are going to monitor through the MCA dopplers. A trade off, to minimize the risk.

I admit that I cried. Not because I am really wild about getting an amnio but because I really had to mentally prepare myself for today and I just wanted to get it over and done with. But I know that minimizing the risk for her is important, so I am just going to have to sit with the uncertainty and not knowing for a while longer.

So that is our news/not really news. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, it is very much appreciated. So we wait some more... and will continue to keep you updated.

Upcoming projects and some knitting

We went to town today so that the kids could use the gift certificates that their Grandpa got them for Christmas. While we were there I picked up some goodies for future crafting.

Some simple, cheap onesies for Adelle. I am going to find a yarn that compliments all three of them (I am thinking a light green or light pink) and knit some little newborn shorties for her this summer. It is really hard to find just plain t-shirts for newborns (as opposed to the onesies with the snaps) so I will just cut off the bottom of the onesie and hem in up into a shirt so she can wear with with her wool. Sweet and a relatively easy project.
I had to buy some girlie flannel for diapers. I have the Very Baby pattern to make some fitteds, though I might try another pattern too. Issy and Isaac helped me pick out the fabric, I think they did good!


The finished Curly Purly kimono. I bought this yarn on sale at the LYS shortly after we moved here, it is Lorna's Laces Lion and Lamb (wool/silk) It is gorgeous, vibrant colors and soft and wonderful to work with. I started this kimono pattern because I really love way it looks finished. Unfortunately, there is an obscene amount of seaming, so I put it away for a year and a half because I didn't really have anyone to give it to anyways, and therefore not a ton of motivation to seam it (because I really loathe seaming). But I was looking through my unfinished projects last week and decided to revive it for Adelle. Good for evenings in the mountains. I loooove the way it turned out!
And a picture sock update! I had finished the cuff last night and then today at the yarn shop I did the heel flap and turned the heel, and started the gusset at the ankle. I am in the home stretch!

Handknits for Adelle

This Mama has been busy knitting some wool soakers for my new little Spud. Before I found out our Spud was a girl, I knit the two soakers pictured above, which I call the Chocolate Milk soaker and the Sunshine soaker. The Sunshine soaker is a newborn size... so teeny tiny and quick to knit. The Chocolate Milk soaker is a size small, I think I am going to do some embellishment to give it a feminine touch. Last week when we found out we were having a little girl, I started a Sheepy Sack, which is the one in the middle in pink and brown. It is just a long tube, basically, with a drawstring at the waist. This makes for quick nighttime diaper changes with minimal fuss.

Adelle also has a couple of soakers coming from Aunt Michelle, who knit a couple of girly ones before she found out she was having a baby boy.

And never fear, I have been working on my second sock. I have about half of the cuff done. I work on Saturday, so I am hoping to get it done by the end of the weekend so I can continue my Adelle knitting without guilt.

The 21 week belly

21 weeks

Yay! Past the halfway point! I took this picture yesterday, apologies for the slightly crazy look on my face (I'll explain why down post), but there is the belly. I feel very small. This little lady isn't going to be moose-y like my boys, I don't believe. I might actually have an average sized baby. She is growing just fine, I just don't think she is going to be huge. She is very very feisty though. I have been feeling her move for about 3 weeks now and in the last week, she has really begun to have regular periods of movement. And big movement at that. She does it when I lay down with Liam for naptime and in the evening. And sometimes in between ;) It is very exciting and quite reassuring, it makes me feel better to have little reminders. Ask me how I feel about the kicking in another couple of months!

Getting prepared for the appt next Wednesday. A friend of mine is all set to baby-sit (which the kids are really excited about- she has a four and six year old that they love to play with!) which takes a load off my mind. Just trying not to be anxious about what the appt may or may not tell us.

RE: the crazy face. Liam has tried (once more) to test the edges of my sanity. I think I am rising to the occasion nicely, although I am not sure how much longer I can do this. He got sick last week, bad cough. This made him tired and verrrry grouchy. Luckily, because of the tired, we didn't have to endure as much grouchy. Now the tired has worn off, the cough is sounding better, but the grouchy... ohhhh, the grouchy. For reasons otherworldly, I was able to be verrrry patient with him yesterday, for the most part, but oh, was he a bear. He whined and threw a fit about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. He was unpleasant in one way or another the majority of the day. It is days like yesterday that make me doubt my ability to be the mother of four (or at least, the mother of a newborn and Liam).

And then, he slept badly last night. Clearly, he is in pain or something is bothering him, but he is still not articulate enough to tell us why. So he just kept waking up and crying. He would scoot close to my head. And I would pat him and he would go back to sleep for fifteen minutes to an hour. Repeat. Oy. I think if he ever starts feeling better, he will do just fine on a mattress on our floor, but we have to get him well to get there.

In happy knitting news, Adelle is accumulating a nice stash of wool for when she is born. I'll share in the next post :)

A daughter

If everything goes well, I will be holding a baby girl in my arms in another five-ish months. We went to the doctor yesterday and got to see our little Spud, a girl we have named Adelle, stubbornly trying to hide herself. She got herself all curled up, not interested in our attempts to check her out. It is ok, precious girl, after our appointment with the perinatalogist in a couple of weeks I hope we don't have to take anymore sneak peeks at you. I hope to leave you to grow in peace and quiet until that day in June when you decide to make your appearance.

And that is what we are left with now, because that is the only thing that can get us through these precarious days- hope. Hope that she won't have the antigen. Hope that the amnio goes smoothly. Hope that if she does have the antigen, she can be a strong girl and hang in there until it is ok for her to be born. What else can we do?

But hope doesn't necessarily banish the anxiety that lurks below. I try not to indulge myself, but sometimes it boils up. And the what-ifs crash over me: what if she has the antigen? what about all the sonograms? what if she is severely effected? the cord transfusions? a premature baby? what if she dies? And all I can go back to is hope. Because I am wildly powerless in this situation. Motherhood is one huge exercise in hope.

So for now, I will appreciate that I have this precious girl inside me, kicking and growing. And hope.

A hat (for Spud?)

I found a pattern for the Norwegian Baby Cap and had to try it! I used Fleece Artist sock yarn (which is the same kind of yarn I am doing my current socks in) and I love the colors! I made the 6 month size, hoping that Spud could wear it next winter, but my gauge was off, so I don't think that is going to happen. It is only a tad bit snug on Liam, so perhaps Spud can wear it the winter after next. He was good enough to model for me, even though the yarn leans more "girl" than gender neutral. He is a good son. Here are a couple side shots:

Front shot (if he looks a little under the weather, that is because he is, poor guy)

With the flash

In natural light

So now that I have gotten that finished, I am going to start working on the second sock!

One down....

I have had some knitting time in the last few day because a) Liam had the stomach flu on Friday so we spent the day on the couch watching Dora and trying to convince him he didn't want to eat/drink because he was just going to get sick again. Good times. and b) I was at the yarn shop on Saturday. So I got to complete the first of my lacy, beautiful, springy (as in springtime, not bouncy) socks. This first pose, let me say, not terribly easy to take a picture of your own leg like that. Maybe even moreso during gestation. But I made the commitment to contort myself because I thought it was a nice way to show off the sock.


So now you all know that one entire sock is completed. So that we don't have a fiasco like the one mentioned in the previous post, where beautiful socks were put down for over a year, I need to ask a favor. Please harass me about working on the second sock. I might not get to it until this weekend, because you know, I have to take care of the kids and clean and make food and stuff. Just periodically ask me how it is going. Accountability.

In this post in November 2007 I shared a sock that I had completed. Over a year later, here is the pair. It is silly, really. I knit the cuff of the second sock, messed up after the heel and put it down for a loooong time. Last Saturday, I decided to fix the boo boo- I think it took about half and hour :P It only took a few days to finish the rest of the sock. And here is the finished product:


I decided that I wouldn't start any socks until those were finished, which led to a loooong break. To celebrate completing those, I decided to start some new socks. In this post from September 2007 you can see this yarn knit up. I decided that I didn't like that pattern with this yarn, so I decided to frog it. And I found the Spring Forward pattern instead and it seemed like a great pattern for the yarn. My first venture into lace knitting (albeit, a pretty simple pattern). It is going very well so far and I am determined not to get sidetracked by small mistakes. Here is my progress:

My big little girl

She finally lost her tooth! She discovered it was loose on Thanksgiving. And that the adult tooth was already growing in behind it. Almost two months later, it finally fell out (well, was pulled). The reason there isn't much of a hole is that much of the other tooth has already grown in. Hello, orthodontia.

She begged me to take this picture for her. These are her two favorite dollies.

19 wks and my midwife appt

19 wk belly view from above

I had my appointment with the Rexburg midwife group this morning. It went surprisingly well! There are three midwives in a group together, and two OB's who handle the high risk stuff. The midwife I spoke with today, Rachel, seemed very personable and thorough. She was very pleased that I was able to have a vba2c with my last birth and said that made things much easier (since now I have the elusive "proven pelvis"). It also bodes well that even though I was sensitized during my last two pregnancies, my babies were healthy. We also discussed induction, should that become necessary, and there didn't seem to be a problem with doing a foley induction like last time.

Basically, since I am higher risk because of the kell they will be in close contact with their consulting OB's and I might have to see them some, but I should be able to do at least some of my care with the midwives. I will be having a 20 wk anatomy scan the 29th and meeting the OB's and talking with them.

They have been in contact with the perinatologists that come to Idaho Falls from Salt Lake City once a week. My appointment is indeed going to be Feburary 11th and we will be doing the amnio that day. Bleh. I mean, I want to get the amnio overwith, but I really loathe doing them. The idea of my baby sharing my womb with a big needle, however briefly, is extremely disconcerting. But if we do it and the babe is negative, we can just leave him or her alone, to grow in peace. Unfortunately, if the baby has the antigen, I will have to go to IF for all my MCA dopplers, they don't do them in Rexburg. And I suspect that if tranfusions become necessary, we will be going to SLC, since that is where the perinatologists are based out of.

So at this point, everything is all lined up with everyone and we have to take it an appointment at a time. Little Spud has made his/her presence known in the last week- I am really starting to notice the punches and the rolling. I think this is going to be a fiesty baby!

School days

We started back with school in full force at the beginning of the new year, which brought back that nice rhythm to our days. When we moved all three beds into the same room, we had an extra room, now deemed the "Activity Room. It houses their dressers, the toys and all our books and homeschooling things. We had been schooling in the dining room, which sometimes presented a challenge keeping Liam out of trouble. It is working better in the Activity Room, since all his toys are in there and he can't escape as easily. Here is what we have been up to:

Isaac's godmother, Aunt Patty, sent him a workbook as a Christmas gift so he could do school just like Issy. He loves it! He is very bright and catches on very quickly. I love his enthusiasm.

Liam playing with some toys while I worked with the other kids. See how neatly he lined them up? Yup, then he knocked them down with glee.

Issy working on math, while Ewok the cat joins in.

Part of school today was working on the map of the USA that Isaac got for Christmas. It was a nice break from doing workbooks and undoubtedly educational. Especially for this geography-challenged Mama :)

No appointment today, folks

So on Tuesday, I was feeling very proud of myself. I had managed to obtain the number of the midwife group I will be using, called, scheduled an appointment. Even arranged childcare. Then yesterday I got a call in the afternoon that went some like this:

Lady That Works for the Midwive's Office (heretofore referred to just as "Lady"): Hi, is this Mrs. Marney?

Me: Yes, it is (in my best phone voice)

Lady: Oh, did you happen to get my message yet?

Me: No, I have been busy, I must have missed it (i.e. I was taking a nap with my toddler).

Lady: We missed you today at 2:40

Me: Oh, I had scheduled that appointment for Friday.

Lady: Well, I had you down for today.

Me: I had told the person scheduling the appointment that I needed Friday, since I knew I would be busy today. It must have been a misunderstanding...

Lady: Oh, that is fine.....

And we go on to schedule an appointment for next Wednesday at ten in the morning instead. Sigh. And I had syked myself up for it and everything. Seriously, it is extremely difficult for me to walk into medical-ish buildings. After all the time I have spent in the places, mostly with fear and anticipation, I don't have good feelings about it. So it takes a bit of mental preparation for me to do it.

Oh well. So next Wednesday it is then. Got the babysitter rescheduled, which the kids are thrilled to pieces about (actually the babysitter is too.) I'll keep ya'll updated!

A visit from Anna

Our dear friend came to visit us this last week and we had a lot of fun! The kids adore her and a good time was had by all.

Playing in the snow. They built "Frosty" and a snow fort next to him.

Enjoying hot chocolate afterward. They were out there a long time!

Spa night. They soaked all soaked their feet, then took turns putting lotion on each other.

I got to take her cross country skiing... this is her fancy pose.

Saying good-bye is always hard. There were tears, but everyone started to feel better after we talked about what a fun week it was.