My birthday

My foxy hubby and dear friend made a birthday cake for me all the way in Idaho and sent me pictures. Happy 28th birthday to me!

The sunrise

Originally written the on September 5, 2009.

This morning, I woke up a little bit before 7, feeling surprisingly well-rested. I unwound myself from Adelle, leaving her to snooze peacefully on our bed with her Daddy. Liam got up at the same time, so I put on a movie for him so that I could go and enjoy my cup of coffee without harassment from my three-year-old. (My boys really like to have "tastes" of my coffee- I made the mistake of letting them try it one time. They always grimace and then say "That is yummy!" through watery eyes.)

I made my cup of coffee and sat on the back porch waiting for the sun to rise (similar to Adelle's birthday, actually). The setting was slightly different. The sun was later in coming over the mountain, what had been green shoots of young barley was now a field of gold. And instead of joyful anticipation, I held several opposing emotions in my heart. Joy at the thought of returning to my family and friends and familiar surroundings. Melancholy for all the things that I would be giving up here that I have truly grown to love- beautiful clear running streams, gigantic mountains rising from the edge of the valley floor, skies full of stars that make you realize how small you are in this big, huge universe, the ability to walk into the forest and just wander around, seeing things you have never seen before even if you have walked the same path dozens of times, the smell of a forest full of pine trees, the sound of the wind making the Aspen leaves flutter. I could go on.

I had no idea when we moved here how deeply this place would effect me. I won't deny how hard it was at first- that first fall and beginning of winter. Long hours at work for Joe, no friends yet, a high-maintenance toddler. But then the friends came, and spring came and joy came back. More than I could have ever imagined. And then we were put in the position of having to leave even though we didn't want to. And then more opportunity came last summer and we got to stay. And more joy! Our very own Idaho Spud, born in our bathtub after a day of hard work and a walk in the woods. And we all fell in Love. How can I leave a place where we became such a good family?

Edited on September 14, 2009: Things were still rather raw a couple of weeks ago when I originally wrote this post. I want to post it because it reflects how I was feeling. How I still am feeling. But I also feel good, optimistic. Idaho gave us the opportunity to become a family that I never knew that we could become. The opportunity to rely solely on each other, to become a more cohesive unit. I am so thankful for that. The growing. The solitude. The beauty.

And so we return a better family. I will miss the mountains, more than I could have ever anticipated. I hope to return to the mountains someday- perhaps slightly closer mountains ;) But for now we go where we are led. With joy.

How did I miss posting this?

In May I started this sweater for Adelle to wear this fall. I was going to use it as a "labor project" but I didn't really feel like knitting while I was in labor. (I could have, I just wasn't in a knitting mood). So I finished it sometime in July. This past week I decided to crochet the edge and add buttons and ta da! here it is. I like how it turned out, but it will probably fit her more like next spring, the arms are quite long even though I did the 6 month size and I got gauge.
After I crocheted the edge in the black yarn, I took it to the yarn store to find buttons and these were just perfect! A little bit of color on the black. It is kind of a fun and funky sweater :)

Moose Creek Trail

Also on Labor Day, Adelle and I woke up while the rest of the house was still sleeping, so we sneaked (a grammar note: Firefox won't let me put the word "snuck". Why? is it really sneaked?) out and took what amounted to about a 3 mile hike. It was gorgeous and invigorating. Moose Creek Ranch is right before you get to Moose Creek and apparently they were herding sheep that day because as we were getting out of the car, we were greeted by this sight:

Then the sheep got closer. And looked at us like *we* had lost *our* minds.

So we let the sheep pass and went on our way.Adelle at the beginning of our hike. Very bright eyed. This didn't last long. She has never stayed awake longer than 20 minutes in the wrap. It apparently makes her sleepy. It was a little chilly (about 50 degrees) so I left her in her sleeper and she was nicely and cuddly warm snuggled up to me.I was showing Adelle the trail that we took when I was in labor with her. She was enthralled.

The rest of these are just some nature shots that I thought were beautiful. Touches of autumn are starting to show up.

Labor Day trip to Yellowstone

We decided Labor Day morning to go ahead and take a day trip to Yellowstone. We went up through the South Entrance, and got to go through Grand Teton National Park, which was beautiful, as always. Stopped at Old Faithful, because even though we have gone there a lot of times, Joe has never done the geyser loop around it.

This is why we keep having kids- so we don't have to push the stroller ;)

Everyone wanted a chance to push the stroller. Until they didn't. Then Joe and I got to do it.

On the bridge. Joe was making sure that Liam wasn't going to leap. You know, in between taking pictures.
Apparently this spider didn't read the "Danger: Thermal Area" signs. So much for Spidey Senses. (I tried that joke out on Joe and he "booed" me, I hope someone here will appreciate it)We got to see Castle Geyser erupt. Click here for more info on Castle Geyser. It was pretty awesome.

Some very nice young man (that makes me sound like an old lady- he was actually probably my age) offered to take a picture of our family. Everyone was actually looking pleasant and in the same general direction, which is quite a feat. Just the Six of Us.

After Old Faithful, we grabbed some cookies and hot chocolate and drove down and sat by the Lewis? River. It was super gorgeous, if not a bit cool. We watched the fish jump out of the water and enjoyed twilight in Yellowstone. We got this fantastic picture of all our kiddos. I know I am biased, but I think they are adorable :)

Flying Baby Delle!

This made me a little nervous, but it was a cute picture. After Joe took the shot, I had him pull the child back, lest he hop in.

Shortly after this picture, Issy told me she had decided to spell her name with Z's instead of S's. I asked why and she said, "Because you say it Izzzzzy" and I tried to explain that her name was Isabelle, with and S and that was why we choose to spell it with an S. Although she has a point. We decided not to decide about that. Smart little cookie though.

That is an earwig in my coffee basket!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
This morning, I decided to wash the coffee filter basket. At the bottom of the basket was a dead earwig. I don't normally wash it every time- I just switch out the filters. No longer, my friends, no longer. Because this means I have unwittingly been drinking steamed earwig along with my coffee. Lesson learned: always rinse the basket before you put in a new filter.

BLECH

Homeschooling

I was recently reading a post by Elizabeth Foss, where she was addressing some of the common fears people have about homeschooling their kids. It really resonated with me because almost every single thing she had down were things I was concerned about at one time or another- "Can I handle this?" "What about Liam?" "I am so disorganized, how do I get it together?" and on and on. But I was sure that it was best for our kids and so I took the leap.

You know what? I am still not perfect. Shocking, I know. I am more organized than I was, but still not terribly organized. I am more patient than I was, but I still have a considerable way to go in order to be considered a patient person. Liam irritates me some days when I am trying to work with the other two. But I find myself liking homeschooling more than I thought I would. I am learning with them. Sure, I have known my ABCs and 123s for a while, but I am learning to teach them, to let God fill in the numerous gaps in my patience with them.

And I love that it is a journey that we are taking together. I don't know if we are always going to homeschool each child. I feel it prudent to take it one child and one year at a time. If one of my children would be better served in their education journey, I will not hesitate to send them to school. But for now, I am savoring this time.

Some days they bicker with each other, they whine, I let them watch too many movies, the baby doesn't take good naps, I feel frazzled. Life is like that though, motherhood is like that. But the joys outweigh the hardships and I feel grateful for the opportunity to educate my children.

Some knitting

I took a break from knitting my sweater to work on a few things for Adelle that needed some working on. I started this sweater in um, like... March? February? I know I was working on it when I went to Wichita in March, it has been a while. Such a cute pattern, but then I put it down and didn't feel motivated to finish it, but I picked it back up this weekend and ta da! The pattern is here: The Seamless Kimono Sweater

She has started to outgrow her newborn sized soakers (um, actually, so *started* outgrowing them a while ago, but I have been yanking them on anyways) so I have started to knit some bigger ones for her. She is appreciative.

Michelle gave me some longies that she had knit for Annika, but she doesn't quite fit in them yet. And since it will soon be longies weather, I needed to make some for the interim- and here is my first pair. Love the color!

Here she is modeling them. I was taking too long to get ready for our hike, so she fell asleep on the bed waiting for me.

Super cute kiddos

We went to our parish picnic yesterday. We wanted to leave before the pinata, and this made our children sad. So we told them we would have our own version. When we got home, we got down the candy basket (leftovers from halloween, Christmas, Easter...) and Joe made them line up and he threw candy onto the floor for them to get. This was a good alternative- still get candy, no getting trampled.

This had been in her lap, but she has been working on grasping things and she pulled it up to her eyes. She looked like she was trying to be stealthy.

Issy entertaining Adelle while I made dinner. Adelle thinks Issy is wonderful.

Singing into their "microphones" during a concert on the stone in front of the fireplace.

She realllly wants to get her thumb. This is her attempt at getting it. I have tried to explain she would have to isolate it from the other fingers, but she just isn't listening ;)

The Hike

I haven't had a "By myself, just me (um, and Adelle) and nature" hike since the baby was born. She gets to come along since she nurses, but she just slept in the wrap. Yesterday was the day. I went up the path to Mud Lake since the trail is close.

Insanity! If you look at the mountainside from our back porch, it doesn't really look that bad. Well, looking at it and actually hiking it are two very different things. What ended up being about halfway up (though I didn't know that at the time) I was about ready to quit. But I kept thinking, "Certainly I'll be at the top soon". Around every bend I would figure (hope, pray) that I would be at the top. And finally, with quite a bit of stopping to breathe and a fair amount of muscle burning, I got there!

One of many steep bends of the trail. The picture doesn't do it justice.

We made it! I was so excited that I took a picture even though I was very sweaty, unshowered, hair undone under a ball cap. Adelle was asleep.

I have a thing for pictures of long roads/trails, especially if they have trees on each side.

Mud Lake

I stood in this group of Aspen trees for a few minutes, feeling the breeze, the warmth of the sunshine, the smell of life all around me. Adelle snoozing on my chest, air in my lungs. One of those moments where I felt really happy to be alive.

In the Aspens

Views of the Valley. I was pretty high up, no wonder my legs were burning.

8 years

Almost every other day of the year, when I remember her, I can just be happy and think of the good memories. But once a year, on this day, I indulge myself and allow myself to really miss her. To think about what it would be like to have her around, what she would think of me, how much she would enjoy my children. I think the worse part is that it now feels so normal to not have her around. The first year, when the grief was still fresh, her absence was felt so acutely. So much time has past now, however, that it is all just a distant memory to have her around day to day. It is healthy to move past that part of the grieving process, but I feel like I lost something when I moved on. She was such a beautiful, gentle woman, although imperfect (who isn't though?) and I am thankful that she was my mother.

Visitors!

We have been fortunate to have the opportunity to have a whole slew of visitors this summer! At the end of July, my Dad and niece came to visit. Here are some pics of their visit:

At the top of the ski lift at Grand Targhee Ski Resort, which is relatively close to our house. It has such a beautiful view!

They decided to brush the dogs one day, which was awfully nice of them, since I hate doing it and the dogs are shedding. I captured this kindness on camera :)

We purchased Adelle a bouncy seat with some money we had been gifted. It arrived when Dad and Teresa were here and she was trying it out for the first time. It also gave me the opportunity to get a group shot of the five of them together.

A summer hike.

Isaac picked some wildflowers. And if they didn't come easily, he yanked them up by the root.

Ice cream at Yellowstone while we waited for Old Faithful. Which was not very faithful- like thirty minutes late. The following pictures were taken by Teresa:

The boys climbing a dead tree.
Liam fell asleep in the car with the water bottle on his lap on the way home from Yellowstone. This was not a good day for Liam- he was very tired and grouchy. Very grouchy. I can't overstate how grouchy he was that day.
Sometimes my kids do weird things. I like it- it keeps things interesting around here. This evening, they were dressing the post by the stairway as some sort of princess.
Teresa got one of Sleepy Delle.