Saturday, January 4, 2014

Journal: Happy New Years!

Out my window: Clear and a chilly 12 degrees. Though that is great compared to what we have in store the next few days- highs of 1 and -15 on Sunday and Monday, respectively, with horrible wind chills. School is already cancelled for Monday and Joe is working remotely from home so we don't have to get the kids out. Yuck, man.

Clothing myself in: Maurice's skinny jeans, the boots Mom and Dad Marney got me for my birthday and actually, a cute flannel shirt Mom and Dad Marney got me for Christmas. This outfit was almost entirely from Mom and Dad Marney- except a I threw Joe's robe over it cause I was cold :)

Around the house: We made a concerted effort on basement clean-up today since our kitchen project is nearing a close and the basement is next. Well, kind of next. We might do a quick detour into transitioning George into Liam's room and making G's room an office before we buckle down on the basement. But it is nice to have the basement in order. Whenever it is all picked up and tidy, I can see the potential for when it is completed. It is going to be such great space.

The toddler: I have been trying (and sometimes succeeding!) at being very positive with him especially when he is being particularly challenging. I have found that when he starts being ornery, if I can engage him positively, I can almost always turn it around. It is hard, though. Sometimes dinner has to be made or we are just trying to get out of the door and those are the times when it is most difficult to deal with his challenging behavior. But I feel like I have this effective tool that I was unaware of before, so it is something. Bit by bit with that little guy.

The kiddos: Yes, chicken pox. Issy definitely had it. She got a pretty mild case, but there was one miserably itchy night. I took her to the Physician's Assistant on Tuesday to confirm it, who told me it was fine if I just called in when the other kids got it and they would make note of it in their charts. Isaac had a fever tonight, which was how Issy's started, but it would be a little early for chicken pox, given the incubation period. At least if he got it from her. I suppose we will see.

The other kids are due for it this upcoming week. Unfortunately, Joe is out of town from Tuesday through Friday, so if they do get it this week, I am hoping it'll be towards the end. Ah, childhood illness. At least we will have gotten it over, though. Please pray that it happens quickly and mildly, if you could?

In the kitchen: Crock pot chicken, chicken noodle soup, turkey rice casserole and bean/ cheese/ rice squares. Made some chocolate chocolate chip cookies and snickerdoodles on New Years, maybe some more cookies tomorrow? Pumpkin butterscotch chip, I am thinking.

Crafting: Finished my scarf- just in time for this frigid weather. I am still working on my co-workers gloves.

Bringing me joy: A relatively peaceful day at home, sledding with the kids, Issy playing school with Adelle and George without any prompting, warm showers, naps, evening out with a friend, walking into work in the morning, having lunch with Joe.

Thinking about: 2013. Honestly, I am not sad to say good-bye. It was just kind of a rough year- Kolbe dying, never-ending winter, epic amounts of mosquitoes when winter finally ended, Isaac getting Kawasaki, Clementine getting Lyme disease, money stress, early mornings. But as we were putting together our 2013 slideshow, Joe and I were talking about how we still had an excess of beautiful moments we were able to include. So it certainly wasn't perfect and I hope 2014 is better but we still have a great life here.

I don't have any other pictures to include, but if you aren't on facebook with me or didn't get to see the slideshow, here it is. Happy New Years, my friends!

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Journal: It's not you, it's me...

Out my window: Whew, a lot has changed since I blogged last. It has been very cold and pretty snowy this December.  There are probably about 9? inches of snow currently on the ground. It is clear and I can see the crescent moon in the brightening sky. It is supposed to be "warm" (in the thirties) today and then get frigidly cold again.

Clothing myself in: Jammies. I rolled out of bed this fine Saturday morning at 6:11 and threw on a robe and slippers when Issy woke me up. She had a fever yesterday and a few red bumps on her tummy. She woke me up to tell me some of them are itchy, some have blistered and she has more. I am thinking chickenpox, though I suppose that will become apparent over the next few days.

Around the house: Kitchen is almost done. The cabinets are all painted and put back together, the kitchen is painted. All we have left is putting up a little more woodwork, touching up some paint and a few knobs left on the cabinets.It looks great :)

The toddler: Super duper sweet and ornery. The biggest development over the last (almost) two months is that he has started to love his ABCs. And is fairly good at recognizing them, too. He still gets up ridiculously early, is very loud and opinionated. He also has a great smile, and likes to give "prisses" (kisses) and play in the snow.

The kiddos: Adelle is doing great at daycare. She really loves playing with her friend there.  Issy, Isaac and Liam are almost halfway through the school year. Other than Isaac have an abysmal penmanship grade, they are all doing well.
~~~~~continued Saturday afternoon~~~~~

In the kitchen: Hm, I made the menu a few days ago, but I just don't remember much of what is on it.  Turkey burgers and potato soup. I made some beer bread yesterday with our Italian sausage soup that would have been better if my non-stick pan had been up to par. A good portion of the delicious crusty bottom stayed in the pan :P

Crafting: I started knitting myself a scarf to match my coat a few weeks ago out of the blue and white yarn that I did the soaker in this post. I am working on knitting two of my co-workers some fingerless gloves for Christmas.

Bringing me joy: Afternoon naps, George saying, "Mom! You came back!" very enthusiastically in the afternoon when I pick him up, evening walk/jogs with Joe, the glow of Christmas lights, George singing his ABCs, a low-key but lovely Christmas.

Thinking about: How to effectively deal with my kids, especially George. He is two. He is extremely strong-willed. Extremely. More than any of my other kids. He is very large and strong for his age. He is very smart and verbal. And so, so exhausting. If he was my only child and I had unlimited time on my hands, I might feel less overwhelmed by him. I am just trying to figure him out and the best way to work with him.

So that's all I have this Saturday afternoon. Sorry for the absence- I am just trying to figure out what I can fit into the newly reconfigured schedule and still keep my sanity. I really like blogging though and hope to find time :)

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Journal: Ch-ch-changes

Out my window: Dark and 43. I hate the end of Daylight Savings Time, it was dark by 5 this evening. Bleh. I mean, I know that I will adjust, but I get a little bit curmudgeony about it.

The poop smell has subsided significantly since last Wednesday. I smelled it a teensy bit this afternoon, but man, I just hope it doesn't return with the same fervor as before.

Clothing myself in: Brown yoga pants and K-State sweatshirt. Foxy, I tell you.

Around the house: Joe had Friday off for All Saint's Day (hooray for Catholic employers!) so we had a three day weekend. We relaxed a fair amount and we also made a concerted effort on painting our cabinets. They are coming along nicely. I would like to have the kitchen all painted and put back together by mid- December.

The toddler: It was one of those weeks in childhood development where you can just tell that he grew up. It is hard to explain. He is (slightly) more compliant, significantly more articulate and generally just more chilled out. I mean, he is still George, but there were several times this week when he just played nicely, with toys, by himself.  It was wonderful. And his speech. He talks so well and he is such a big dude, sometimes I forget he is just a tad over two years old.

The kiddos: Adelle is in the whiney phase again. We have thrown a lot of changes at her the last few months- stopped sucking her thumb in July, separated rooms with Issy in August, Liam went to school in September, leaving her with George all day. And oh man, I am feeling it. I really try to be patient with the wailing, and the return of thumb sucking and the coming to our bed in the middle of the night. Sometimes I do better than others. The meltdowns are the hardest. Poor little gal has had her little world rocked. And will some more soon...

In the kitchen: Crock pot chicken, I think I will make some pork and sweet potato stew. I should really get started on the 20 dozen cookies I need to make for the school fundraiser in a month and just freeze them...

Crafting: Nuh uh.

Bringing me joy: Anticipation for our upcoming visit to Kansas, fresh piney air, a smooth job interview, a job offer, seeing the kid's Halloween joy, hanging out with Joe for three days.

Thinking about: I interviewed for the job on Wednesday and got a job offer on Thursday afternoon. I am going to spend a little time there this week, just to see what it is like and I am hoping to discuss start date and all of that then. Blessedly, we will still be able to take our trip to Kansas for Thanksgiving, which is great. I am glad that we will get to do that before I really settle into the job.

I am nervous/ excited about the job- it is a sales admin job with Catholic Word's division of Ignatius Press.  Basically, Ignatius Press has three positions in the Catholic Word office in Necedah (with headquarters in San Francisco and a distribution center in Ft. Collins, CO) and I will be filling one of them. I will be working in the same place as Joe, though in a different part of the company.

It is a lot of different for us.  A whole lot.  I haven't really worked outside of the home since before Issy was born, so all of them have always known me being a home. I have the Mother Guilt ™ about leaving the kids, even though a good friend of mine is doing daycare. Just you know, not seeing all their day to day things. But I am also excited about flexing my brain in a different way and interacting with adults on a regular basis. So you know, conflicted. I am just praying for a smooth transition for my littles.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Journal: Deep Fall

Out my window: 42 and cloudy. It smells like stinky poop outside. I have no idea why. This happened last year at the end of November for about a week. Like really pungently horrible. I hope that it goes away soon.

Clothing myself in: Exercise pants with a stripe. Josh Groban concert T-shirt.

Around the house: We actually got a chance to work on building up the dirt in the front of the house. It feels good to have gotten a chance to work on it. Painting.

The toddler: He has gotten very funny and cute lately. He has been playing by himself with toys much better as well- I can currently hear him in the living room pretending to be sleeping. He played with a dinosaur and tractor for a long time earlier. Getting a very good imagination.

The kiddos: Delle started sucking her thumb again about a month ago and we have been working on stopping that again. She had done super great from July to when I got ill last month. Last night we realized that what helped in the first place was painting her fingernails- she didn't want to smudge the nail polish. So I painted her nails this afternoon and she didn't even attempt at naptime. If I can keep on that, hopefully we can get her back on track.

Need to nail down costumes for All Saint's Day and Halloween in a few days. Why do I procrastinate? The end of October comes at the same time every year.

In the kitchen: Chicken Enchiladas, grilled cheese with pumpkin soup, three bean chili, egg casserole.

Crafting: Nope.

Bringing me joy: Evening walk/jogs, George's naptime, Adelle's smile, clean laundry, a well-behaved house puppy, Reconciliation (why do I put it off? I always feel better after), friendships that have lasted many years.

Thinking about: I am actually interviewing for a job on Wednesday. An out-of-the-house job. Please keep me in your prayers?

Monday, October 21, 2013

Journal: Mega-date

Out my window: 37 with a teensy bit of sun. Brrrr. Highs in the 40s this week.  Not really ready for winter, but I guess it will come when it comes.

Clothing myself in: I was freezing, even with the heater on, so I put on the wicked sweater that I knit 4? years ago. Has it really been that long? Some jeggings that I got from Maurice's with my birthday money from Mom and Dad Marney.  Well, Maurice's calls them jeggings, but that brings to my mind leggings that look like jeans. I would call these "skinny jeans" but I suppose they can market things how they wish, lol.  I actually also have on the boots I got with my birthday money. So thanks for the outfit, Mom and Dad Marney. It is nice to have clothes that fit that I feel look nice on me.

Around the house: Just working on painting the cabinets. That is the ongoing project for the foreseeable future.

The toddler: Mostly good. He has had some bouts of crazy fit-throwing today when things haven't gone his way, even more so than usual. Maybe from me and Joe being gone? Hoping it passes quickly.

The kiddos: Liam told me that Mondays are his favorite day so he can go back to school. So it's pretty safe to say he likes school :)  Issy was a great helper to the baby-sitter over the weekend, she is growing up so fast! Isaac got a remote control car and a bow and arrow from his godparents for his birthday and has been having all sorts of fun with those. Adelle is loving the preschool co-op we have been doing :)

In the kitchen: Meh, need to make a menu and list and go to the store this week.

Crafting: Nope. Creative energy goes to house projects. But seriously- the kitchen is going to look awesome when it is done.

Bringing me joy: Awesome night away with Joe. I want to remember it all- the gorgeous drive with the fall leaves, the lovely hotel, walking downtown in Minneapolis holding onto Joe's arm, delicious dinner at a fun pub, the excitement of waiting in line for the show, the awesome music, blissful night's sleep, the way Joe sounds when he laughs.  Our life isn't perfect, but I am so glad I get to do it with him.  The break was so nice and it was refreshing to come back to the kids.

Thinking about: How to live a full life with minimal regrets at the end of it.

Picture to share:
Birthday outfit from Mom and Dad Marney. Took this a couple of weeks ago. Maybe someday I will upload blurry date pictures :)

Friday, October 18, 2013

Journal: Hey there.

Out my window: 45 and cloudy.

Clothing myself in: Work jeans that have paint on them. Blue stripey shirt with a grey sweatshirt.

Around the house: Well, I was sick a couple of weekends ago, and Joe decided to put laminate in the kitchen while I was out. I mean, I knew he was doing it. We had talked about doing it for a while because that white linoleum was so difficult to clean. I mean, even after I cleaned it, it still looked very dingy. The laminate is lovely and so ridiculously easy to clean. It actually looks clean after I mop it!

Of course, these kinds of projects often lead to others, so I painted the reading nook with leftover paint from the master bathroom- love it! It's such a great color. And it means I didn't have to buy more paint :) We are also painting the kitchen cabinets white, which is a bit of a process, but it is coming along. We are also painting the kitchen with some basement paint, so yay- don't have to buy more paint there! I can't wait till it's finished.

We have also been working in the woods- Isaac got a hatchet for his birthday, so he has been an enthusiastic participant. We have had to take out some trees because of oak wilt and a few of our pines have died because of the drought. It would be perfect if the ticks hadn't come back out :P

The toddler: Overall, pretty great. We are getting more "after six a.m." days which I am grateful for. He loves playing outside. Talks all the time. Still working on gentleness, but improving.

The kiddos: Got mid-terms last week. Everyone did pretty great, overall.  Everyone needs to work on their handwriting, lol. I really love their school.  Love that it is small, love that they love it. I feel really blessed that we found it.

In the kitchen: This butternut squash, pasta and butter thing. I make some substitutions because I haven't been able to find orecchiette or chicken sausage. But it is super yum anyways.

Crafting: Nope. All creative energy has been spent redoing the kitchen.

Bringing me joy: Watching Joe and George play together. Hugging my very tall Issy. Seeing how proud Isaac is about his hatchet. Listening to Liam read. Listening to tell sing Jars of Clay songs.

Thinking about: DATE TOMORROW NIGHT! Josh Groban and spending the night in a hotel in Minneapolis. Seriously, really really excited. I love my kids to pieces but I am so looking forward to 24 hours of just concentrated marriage time. And sleep. Really excited about the sleep.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Journal: I am 32

Out my window: Dark, clear, 61. Fall crisp in the air.

Clothing myself in: Jeans, tennis shoes, Buddy Walk shirt. Got a new outfit this weekend with my birthday money from Mom and Dad Marney. Pretty exciting:

Around the house: Joe and the kids did some birthday house cleaning while I was shopping this weekend. He cut trees after dinner tonight with a chainsaw.

The toddler: Never a dull moment. We do pretty well playing outside in the morning and blessedly, he has been napping well.  It gets dicey with him after school when we are trying to do homework, chat with the schoolers and make dinner. What can you do about it?

The kiddos: Isaac is very excited about his upcoming birthday. In an understated, Isaac sort of way. He decided on Bierock casserole and chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting. Lord of Rings themed, so that should be interesting. Big three have school off on Friday for the feast of St. Francis. I think it will be a bike ride, tea having, pumpkin bread baking kind of day.

In the kitchen: Joe and I had a fun Sunday in the kitchen- bierocks and apple pie. It was super tasty, but man. So many dishes. I finally got the last of them done and put away this afternoon.

Crafting: Closing in on that sweater. Push through, Erin.

Bringing me joy: Gorgeous, kinda pleasantly blustery fall days, campfires, new books, awesome music to listen to, ponder and listen to some more. When George lays his head on my shoulder or puts his big ol' toddler arms around my neck, coffee with real cream, new boots, pretty new fall ribbon I need to find something to do with.

Thinking about: God's will for our family. What kind of people I want my children to be when they grow up- how to do that.

I have pictures but I just want to post this, so I will share later in another post :)

Monday, September 23, 2013

Journal: End of September

Out my window: 47 and sunny. Beautiful fall weather.

Clothing myself in: Blue sweatpants, orange Old Navy fleece I got when I was pregnant with Isabelle.

Around the house: The garage sale was successful, glad it is over, now I need to decide what to do with the rest of the stuff. I have a little bit of hoarder in me, so it kind of pained me to sell the baby clothes, even though I kept all the pieces that were special to me. It is good to be unattached from "stuff". Although it isn't really the "stuff" that is special, but the time it reminds me of. It is good to move on to a new season in life, although sometimes a little hard to let go of the old one.

The toddler: Parenting him is very 1 step forward, 2 steps back. I should expect this, it is just difficult. He is very sweet and adorable when he says, "good morning, Mom" when I come get him in the morning and I love it when he says goodnight to me, his Barney and his racecar blanket. I just need to remember that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint.

The kiddos: I like that they like school. I like the quiet when they are at school.  And I simultaneously miss having them around.  I miss the old days of homeschooling sometimes. Although it is really, really nice not to have the pressure of wondering if I am teaching them enough, the "right" things, challenging them the "appropriate" amount.

In the kitchen: White chicken chili, bierocks (!) crock pot chicken, chicken noodle soup.

Crafting: I have several things half finished and am in the process of writing a couple hat patterns. Need to finish things instead of leaping into more projects.

Bringing me joy: Apple picking, Adelle and George building a relationship, Isabelle's mature helpfulness, the filtered sunlight in autumn colored trees, clean laundry, cider-scented candles.

Thinking about: What the new season of life holds for us. Still.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Journal: Settling in to September

Out my window: 57 and clear. It's evening and the waxing moon is out. Finally feels like September. It's supposed to be warm and humid and rainy on Wednesday and Thursday and then back to fall. That's fine- we need the rain.

Clothing myself in: Jeans, pink and grey striped shirt, brown cardigan, tennis shoes. Dreaming about new shoes, as all mine seem to be falling apart. I have no "causal" shoes right row- nothing between tennis shoes or flip flops and heels. Maybe for my birthday?

Around the house: This weekend, we worked on clearing some stuff out of the basement for a garage sale next weekend. Went through the toys, because they were all out in the main basement room from when we cleared out the playroom (which is now Issy's room).  I whittled it down to a manageable amount of toys, which will go in respective rooms.  That felt good.

We put up the fall decorations, which I love, love, love.  Fall is my favorite season and I love decorating for it, probably more than for Christmas even. Love the colors, love the feel, love the warmth. Yay, fall.

The toddler: He very nearly made it all Mass without needing to be taken out on Sunday. I think I had to take him out after the Lamb of God? This is the longest he has been in Mass the last six? eight? months. Perhaps longer. Most of the time, he wouldn't even make it to the readings.  A combination of books, Barney and some whispering distraction in his ear almost got us there. Someday!

Him and Delle were better last week than the first week of school, thank goodness. Some fun walks, good naps, and lots of redirection helped. Patience, patience, patience and gentleness are what he needs.
 
The kiddos: School is still great for Liam, Adelle is looking forward to preschool coop tomorrow and Issy and Isaac are enjoying their new found basement freedom.

Good Liam story: The school families take turns cleaning the school each week and it was our turn last week. On Friday after school, I was in Liam's classroom wiping off the tables and taking out the trash. His teacher smiled and said, "Your son is very, um, interesting" as she chuckled. I laughed and told her that I knew but I asked her in what way she meant. They had a journaling assignment about a fish. She told me she had assigned it in the morning and it took him all day of thinking. She was trying to prompt him, so she asked him what color the fish was. He decided it was blue.  He thought for a while. She asked him what the fish was doing.

She said that he thought for a good twenty minutes before he started writing. After a moment, he looked up at her and said, "How do you spell fertilizing?"

His story was, "There was a fish. He was blue. He was fertilizing eggs."  She laughed and said she was amused and impressed by his correct use of the term "fertilizing eggs."  Apparently, first graders don't usually discuss that, lol. That's ma boy.

In the kitchen: Chili? Bean, cheese, and rice squares? Fish tacos? I hate that few days before grocery shopping :P

Crafting: One sleeve is successfully done on little baby sweater. Looks good, need to do the other one, which should be easy because I diligently wrote down what I was doing.  I finished a hat I started last winter when a friend announced her pregnancy and I love it. Need to figure out what I did so I can write down a pattern for it.

Bringing me joy: Walking home from school on a beautiful day with my little ones.  Life is hard sometimes, but it is sweet, idyllic times like that that make it so worth it.  Last Friday, it was beautiful and wonderfully quiet in the house during naptime. For two hours.  Two. whole. hours. I knit in our reading nook and enjoyed the sunshine and breeze in the windows. The way that George's voice raises pitch in excitement. It is kind of hard to explain. He says, "Boo and snunnel?? At naptime?" and his voice raises at the end of each question and he raises his eyebrows in this adorable way. Cooler weather, the start of fall colors, rainy Sunday, fall decorations.

Thinking about: Still God's will for our family. For me. Sometimes I feel restless in motherhood. I feel like I have more to gave outside of these walls. I don't know what it is.




Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Journal: School is in session

Out my window: 94 and humid. Apparently, those mild weeks in July and August decided to come to September :P

Clothing myself in: Blue t-shirt, jean capris, tennis shoes.

Around the house: We painted Liam's room this weekend.  And the Great Marney Room Swap is complete.  They are loving the weekends in the basement bedrooms together and everyone seems to be getting better sleep during the week. Well, I guess I should say the room swap is  almost complete. In some undetermined amount of time, when we decide George is ready, he will start rooming with Liam. He is totes not there yet.

Seriously, we have a ton of outside stuff to do. Now, get with it, cooler weather.

The toddler: Oh. My. I am trying to think of a nice way to say that parenting him has been, um... extremely difficult? lately. But his birthday was pretty great- he played at my friend's house in the morning, took a good nap and really liked his presents. We just need to get through this stage with as much grace as possible. Please, God.

Continued on Tuesday
The kiddos: They are doing great getting back into the school routine. Liam thinks school is "awesome!".  He actually asked me to take him back at about 4:30 in the afternoon one day last week. His teacher said he is doing just fine. I am so relieved. I hope things continue to be awesome. Or at least good, for him.

Issy and Isaac are old pros at the first day of school now :) They are adjusting to their new classrooms and teachers. Issy is adjusting to the more work/ increased pace of the 5th grade. I can't believe they are getting so big.

I am meeting with three other moms about doing a preschool coop once a week for our little ones. Pretty exciting- Adelle will love that. She is cutting out nap (at least on the days she isn't going to sleep with Issy) so she has been having "quiet reading time" in the afternoon while George is down. And then we usually do a little activity. She is just such a delight.

In the kitchen: Trying out Chicken and Gnocchi soup per a friend's recommendation. Looks yum. Tuna burgers and a bunch of other ol' standbys. We are kind of stuck in a rut. Any family-friendly, easy, healthy, economical ideas?

Crafting: I've worked a little on the baby sweater and I am trying to figure out gauge for the baby hat that I am trying.  Slow and steady.

Bringing me joy: The way that Liam says school is "awesome!" with such enthusiasm, the joy it brings for Adelle to color with markers in her purple, sparkly notebook, the way her eyes get big and she gasps with joy when I tell her it is Friday and she can sleep with Issy. Isaac letting lose and acting goofy. The complete quiet of naptime when George is asleep. The adorable way that George scoots his trike around the living room.  The way he says, "Super George! To the rescue!" Seeing Issy blossom from child into young lady a little bit every day.

Thinking about: God's will for our family. If I have the courage to bring my will into accord with His, even if it seems difficult.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Journal: Labor day!

Out my window: 57 right now, overcast. A cool front came through last night, thank goodness and it only supposed to be 73 today. But, it looks like it'll be very much back and forth for the next week or so between the 70s and high 80s, which is kind of ridiculous.  Oh, well, I will take the 70s where I can get them, I suppose.

Clothing myself in: Grey tank top and black sweatpants with a blue stripe. Blue paint speckles on my arms from yesterday still. Because of....

Around the house: Painted Isaac's room yesterday.  It is very very vibrant blue. Robin's egg, actually.  He seemed to really like it. I need to get some better pictures that are true to color, because the cell phone picture I took doesn't do it justice. We picked out some paint swatches for Liam's room. Joe and I have one that we liked, now we just need to convince Liam, lol.

We have about a gazillion outside projects we need to do now that it (hopefully) will be cooler. Building up the dirt by the front of the house, building a bat house, power washing the house, painting the shutters and deck.  And of course, the woods have lots of downed branches and such that need clearing. Home ownership is never dull.

The toddler: Oh, he had a bit of a rough week. I mean, he is always kind of ornery, but he was just trickier than usual- getting into things, being rough with people, clingy, tantrumy. Maybe he isn't feeling well? Or maybe he is just being extra toddlery?

His birthday is in four days! How did two years pass? I started labor on Labor Day weekend and it came and went and came and went until he was born, bright and early at 6:35 the Tuesday after Labor Day. If you would like, you can read his story here.

The kiddos: Adelle and Issy's room adjustments went fairly well last week.  Monday night was the first night apart and Adelle wasn't so sure she wanted to sleep without Issy. We let them have quiet reading time in Adelle's room and then Issy helped tuck her in. Issy was very tender with her and Adelle said, "I am going to miss you." in the sweetest voice ever.  Adelle came out several times to tell us that she didn't want to sleep without Issy, but she didn't last too long.  Issy came up about ten o'clock, looking rather sheepish, to say that it was too quiet without Adelle and she couldn't go to sleep.  They had a happy reunion on Friday night for their "sleepover" in Issy's room. I think it'll work out well.

School starts tomorrow! Liam, in particular, seems excited :)

In the kitchen: Bbq pulled pork, chili, taco soup for dinner.  Need to make some muffins for before-school breakfasts.

Crafting: Finished the body of the revamped baby sweater and am working the sleeves. So far, so good. Thinking of a baby hat pattern I need to jot down.

Bringing me joy: Three day weekends with Joe, anticipating our upcoming getaway in October to the Twin Cities to see Josh Groban- it has been forever since we've gotten away. How excited the kids are about their new rooms.Fire pit fires. Listening to kids playing in the woods.

Thinking about: God's will for our family.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

12 years

I have been trying to write a post about my mother for months, because she's been on my mind, but I just couldn't. Because there is so much I want to say, but I don't know how to say it.

I miss her. But that statement is so inadequate, I hate to even put it down. The truth is, I have begun to forget. Not her- I think of her quite often. But I have all but forgotten, or at least I have a hard time imagining, what it was like when she was here. In the early years, I could imagine what it would have been like to have her at my wedding, to have her at the birth of my kids, how much she wouldn't have liked us moving to Idaho but would have loved the mountains there.

But it is fading. And I hate it. A lot of my memories of her are snippets of our last interactions. Joe and I had gotten engaged the night before she went in for surgery, the night before they discovered the cancer had spread and she was dying.

I think of Joe asking my parents for their blessing after the anesthesia had worn off and we had gone to her hospital room.

Once she was at home and receiving hospice care, playing her music that we wanted to have at our wedding. I remember her closing her eyes to listen to All the Heavens and Canon in D.

Talking to her about how she wanted to make it for our wedding in June. She acknowledged that it would be a "long, cold winter" before June.  It was a long, cold winter, though I had to do it without her.

She had wanted to see me in the wedding dress I had chosen. It was in Olathe though, and she wasn't strong enough for the trip up there so I bought it and they mailed it to me. It arrived on a Friday. She was falling asleep when I went to try it on and she woke up briefly enough to appreciate it. I remember her hands as she touched the fabric.

She didn't wake up much after that. She died on a Tuesday night.

Standing on the back porch shortly after she died, hugging Joe, looking at the sky, wondering where she was.

Going to bed that night, after they had taken her body away, sleeping with my sisters and Joe on the floor. Feeling so empty. Poured out. Wondering how it would ever be okay, let alone good again, without her there.

Those early months of grief hurt so bad. And I thought that the can-hardly-breathe moments would never end. But they did.

I suppose this fading, this moving into acceptance is preferable. But I feel like I left something when I was able to move on. The can-hardly-breathe grief seemed more appropriate. But who can live like forever?

Over the last year, several people- people from Church who knew her, my aunts, my friends who knew her- have told me that I look like her. I like that I look like her. I look in the mirror and see a bit of her. I look at my hands and think about her's. I used to look at her hands in Church on Sunday. Sometimes my children look at my hands in Church. It's a circle, I suppose.

I can only hope that I can be as kind and loving of a person as she was as well.







Monday, August 26, 2013

Journal: August heat wave

Out my window: 76 at 9 in the morning.  After several weeks of very mild temperatures, it is hot again. Supposed to get into the 90s or mid-90s most days this week. Bleh.  Make up your mind, Summer, you can't have it both ways.

Clothing myself in: Black and grey tank tops, black capris. Mismatched ankle socks.

Around the house: Oh my. Well, we have been discussing the room situations since school was going to start soon. Prior to this, Issy and Adelle shared a room, Liam and Isaac shared a room and George had his own room. All on the main floor.  It was fine, except that they would tend to keep each other awake talking after bedtime. If we separated them (especially the boys) everyone would fall asleep much faster.

We also thought it would be good if Issy could stay up a little later reading in her room some evenings without keeping Adelle up. So we decided to rearrange things completely. We didn't want Issy to be alone in the basement, so we moved her into the playroom and Isaac into the guest bedroom.  We actually painted Issy's bedroom this weekend. Sky blue. It is really lovely.

So on the main level, we have Adelle in the boy's old room, which we painted pink for her.  She is thrilled about it. At least the idea of it ;)  Tonight will be her first night, so we will see how that goes. We let her and Issy stay in Issy's room last night. It was cute, as I was tucking the girls in, Issy said, "I am glad my first night in my new room I can share will Delle." We are moving Liam to the girl's old room because it is big enough for two. Eventually, George will share with him.  We will decorate the boy's rooms in a few weeks. We told them they can have sleepovers in the basement on Saturday nights since they like sharing rooms so much.

So yes, it was a big weekend around here.


The toddler: Mostly great. Articulate and fun. Unfortunately, however, his biting has gotten worse. Yes, I have *that* kid. It is super duper frustrating. Any mamas of biters here? Suggestions? Commiseration?

The kiddos: Lots of adjustment with the new sleeping arrangements.  I have anticipated Adelle having a hard time with it, but I had underestimated how much it would effect Liam.  Growing pains sometimes. But I think everyone will rest better this way. And they will still have sibling time on the weekends.

School starts in 8 days. Whoa.

In the kitchen: Tuna burgers, roasted chicken, chicken salad sandwiches, bean and cheese burritos.

Crafting: I seamed one side of the baby sweater. It was painstaking work. It prompted me to rewrite the pattern so you knit it from the top down, reserve some sleeve stitches and knit the front panels and the back in one piece. I am testing my rewrite currently and it is going well, as far as I can tell.

Bringing me joy: Posh pink and sky blue rooms for my girlies. How much my children really love each other and enjoy their sibling's company, the way George whispers I love you after I tuck him in and pretends to snore when I walk out of the room, working in the woods with my family.

Thinking about: How much life is going to change next week. I am nervous about just having Adelle and George around together. The dynamic between them can be really tricky. It might make things better (or perhaps worse?) to have the two of them together all day. It will be weird not to have an older child helper.

Pictures to share:


Monday, August 12, 2013

Journal: Joe's back!

Out my window: 64 and cloudy. Damp.  I can hear the sounds of the football coach yelling beyond my woods. Must almost be fall.

Clothing myself in: Jeans that I fit into again.  Woodstock T-shirt that I got in the men's section at JCPenney a long time ago. It is super soft and comfortable. I got bleach flecks on it while cleaning sometime though :(

Around the house: Joe got home from a 5 day business trip on Saturday at 4:30 a.m. and he was pretty beat, so we had a pretty chilled out, low-productivity weekend. We ate good food.  I organized my yarn. We watched movies.  It was good.

The toddler: He was in the dining room and I was in the reading nook and he heard me sneeze the other day and he said, "Bless you, Mama." He has been sleeping later again but not napping well. Back and forth, push and pull with him.  A step in the right direction for the most part though.

The kiddos: Pretty great.  They get along well most of the time, they are sweet, they are funny, they are kind, they are cute.  I couldn't really ask for better kids.

In the kitchen: Soups!  We had cauliflower and bacon soup last night (and I made blueberry cobbler). On the menu: Pork and sweet potato soup, chicken curry soup, chili, and Italian sausage soup. (And thank you, Oxford comma. I had originally written it without the comma after chili and no, we aren't have something called "chili and Italian sausage soup". Although that doesn't sound terrible.)

Crafting: I finished knitting the baby sweater to sell, but for some reason, the seaming was giving me fits when I tried to do it last night, so I decided to come back to it later. As mentioned above, I organized my yarn yesterday and revived some abandoned projects, so that is fun.

Bringing me joy: Joe's return. Seriously, having him return home after being gone for a while is always like magic.  He has traveled quite a bit (and just worked crazy long hours)  over the last few years for his jobs, so I am okay when he is gone. I mean, I miss him, but I can run our household fairly well alone. But it really is just so much better when he is here.

Thinking about: God's will for our family.

Pictures to share:

 Getting to play outside after dinner has been pretty awesome. The kids and dogs think so.
 Eating an apple one morning while we hung out on the loveseat together.
Coming out after bedtime one evening and she was so hungry and could she please, please, please have just one tortilla chip?

Monday, August 5, 2013

Journal: Fall in August?

Out my window: 59 and cool.  It isn't currently raining, but did earlier this morning. It has been pretty lovely weather lately, though still weirdly fallish.

Clothing myself in: Black shirt, grey hoody. Pink exercise pants.

Around the house: Since my last post, I finished organizing the storage room and cleaned the guest bedroom, which is good because my niece and three of her friends are staying here right now.  The boys are staying in the basement and the girls are staying in my girl's room, which I also super cleaned this weekend.  I I super cleaned the boy's room last week, although I did get to dresser or their shelves yet.  Hopefully this upcoming weekend once our guests leave.

The toddler: Well, he had a couple of weeks of sleeping past six (or at least staying quiet until then) and better poop, though I didn't want to mention it on my blog for fear of jinxing it (eyeroll at myself). That is over now.  It was nice while it lasted.

He talks so much! I mean, he has always talked well, but he is getting more and more articulate.  I was actually saying thank you to Joe for helping me find my phone, but George overheard and he said, "No problem, Mom. No problem, Mom."  He uses the term, "No fair" correctly (thanks, older kids) and when it is time to nurse, he asks for "boo and snunnel" which just slays me with cuteness.  He loves playing outside and is even getting along better with Adelle, thank goodness.
  
The kiddos: We are in the last leg of summer vacation- school starts in a month.  It is going to be very strange to have just my two littles here all day.  We still need to do all of our school shopping and all that fun stuff.

In the kitchen: Oh, some chili is the only thing I can think of off the top of my head. Those blueberries went fast- I think we ate most of them in plain or with yogurt. I did make a blueberry cobbler, which was yum.  With this cooler weather, Joe and I were discussing some of our fall soups yesterday.

Crafting: Finished the pink and brown sweater- whew! Working on a baby sweater to sell.

Bringing me joy: Chatting with my niece Sophia and her friends, cool fall-like weather, even if it isn't fall (if it could be fall all year round I wouldn't mind), the peace and quiet I get from my kids for hours after we go to the library, finally being able to be outside more consistently, my sweet puppy (when he isn't exasperating me), when people tell me that I look like my mother, and anticipation of our upcoming visit from Mom Marney.

Thinking about: Disillusionment.  I won't lie, it has been a tough summer.  Mosquitoes, poison ivy, Isaac getting Kawasaki, mosquitoes, not being able to go in the woods, Clementine getting Lyme disease, a few house issues, mosquitoes. And did I mention mosquitoes? For as wonderful as our first year here was, it has been a rough start to this one.  I am not sure what to make of it. A sign to toughen up? A sign that there are other things out there for us? As unpleasant as it has been, I am still sure that this is where we are supposed to be right now, and I suppose that is all that matters. As always, only time and an openness to God's will for us will tell what happens next.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Meatball Subs

Oooo, a recipe. And it isn't even really mine, is is actually Mary's. I note where I changed things but you are welcome to follow it as is as well. Enjoy!

Meatball Subs:

Ingredients
1 lb beef
3/4 c bread crumbs (I used cracker crumbs because I think it is a lot easier to smash up Ritz.  Your mileage may vary)
2 tbsp dried Italian Seasoning
2 cloves minced garlic
2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
1 egg, beaten

1 French baguette (I used sub bread. I really like the crusty French bread the time I did use it, but I found the soft sub bread to be easier for the kids)
1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 garlic powder
1 pinch salt or to taste
1 jar spaghetti sauce
4 slices provolone cheese (I used shredded mozzarella because I didn't have provolone)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

In a bowl, mix your beef, cracker crumbs, Italian seasoning, garlic, Parmesan and egg. Shape into 12 meatballs and place in baking dish.  The original recipe says to bake for 15 to 20, but I found it takes more like 30.  But I also usually double it so... you know. Bake it until it is done, ok?

If you are using the baguette, cut it in half and remove some of the break from the inside to make a well for the meatballs.  Whatever bread you are using, brush with olive oil and season with garlic powder and salt.  Slip the bread into the oven during the last 5 minutes of the meatball's time or until lightly toasted.

While the bread toasts, warm the spaghetti sauce in a saucepan over medium heat. When the meatballs are done, use a slotted spoon to transfer them to the cause.  Spoon onto the break and top with slices of provolone cheese (or shredded mozzarella). Return to the oven for 2 to 3 minutes to melt the cheese.  Cool slightly, cut into servings and enjoy!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

A Day at the Marney's: July Edition

 I actually took this picture after I had gotten back from putting the puppy on the front porch to potty.  And the clock is seven minutes fast.  I tried to fall back asleep but it took a long time.  And yes, the clock is sitting on a comforter that my sisters used a month ago and I have not yet put back in the linen closest even though it is about 12? feet from this. Yes, sometimes I am ridiculous.
 Joe took care of George and I fell back asleep until about 7:15.  We then had our coffee and 5 minutes of quiet time in the morning.  Well, kind of quiet- George was watching Barney and Critter was yelping to be fed.  But considering I used to just roll out of bed when he left, our five minutes of coffee time is a definite improvement.
 I got ready for the day. I put on mismatched socks on purpose. When I wear a hole in one I usually get rid of it but I don't like to waste the other one so I pair it with one that is similar colors.  Sometimes.  Sometimes I just throw it on with something that doesn't match at all.  I walk on the wild side.
 Loaded up the five and went out on an outing.
 Why is it 65* in July at mid-morning? Weirdness.
 We went blueberry picking with some friends.  Even though I had bought a lot of blueberries at the store the day before.  BUT THEY WERE A GOOD DEAL!  And the experience of blueberry picking and connecting with the Earth and where our food comes from and all those life lessons... So now I need to find a bunch of recipes using blueberries.
 Pretty, aren't they?
 I made lunch and got ready to the dishes from the night before.  But then I realized, "Hey! I have five kids!" and I let Isaac do them instead.
 I laid down for a little bit (see first picture) and then I read a little bit on the back deck.  I had started this book in the Spring, really liked it and then, for whatever reason, put it down.  I picked it back up and I am glad I did.
 The biggers played outside for a while and the littles slept.
Then it was time for Math. Oh, the dreaded Summer Math.  It has caused much angst.

 The rest of us made muffins.  Not blueberry muffins, even though that would have been a good idea.  I had super ripe bananas so I made banana chocolate chip. Yummo. Maybe we will make blueberry today.
 I even swept the floor because it was dis.gus.ting.  Blech. Mopped, too.  Later, the puppy got his water on his paws and got little paw prints on the floor and I was reminded why I don't bother to mop as often as I should.
 I made dinner, which included making homemade cream of mushroom soup because it is far superior to the canned stuff.  But dude, cornstarch is annoyingly messy.  Or I am inept in the kitchen, one of the two.
 Her bike that we got her for her birthday a month ago had a flat tire, so Daddy fixed it for her.
 While he was doing that, I took the rest of them outside, where they raced.
 This race was slow motion running. I liked that one a lot.
 The dogs romped.
 And her bike was finally fixed.  She rode up up and down the driveway once before it got all mosquitoey and we went inside.  The kids showered.
 Aw, Isaac is all fresh.
 Hair brushing.
 Then they all pretended to be dogs chasing their tails.  

Ahhhhh, bedtime.
 Joe and I continued our Twilight-athon. Which he claims he only agreed to because he can't say no to any "-athon" but we all know better.
 My knitting stuff was a mess from not putting thing back properly in the middle of a project, so I organized it all. 
All organized.  Then I knit the stupid "Perseverance Sweater" that I have been knitting on and off for almost a year.  That sucker is gonna get done, yes, it will.

And then we went bed.  And that was another "Day in the Life of the Marney Family".

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Journal: Girl (and George) Staycation

Out my window: 71 and dark.  When I pottied Critter 45 minutes ago, all of the mosquitoes had come out. Oooooh my.

Clothing myself in: White lace tank top under a black tank top.  Blue jeans.  Apparently I should do the journal posts in the evening more often because that is a lot nicer sounding than my jammies that I usually post.

Around the house: I need to recover the house from our staycation.  Joe and the big boys get home tomorrow evening and the house could really use some love before then.

The toddler: He is beautiful/ exasperating. Inquistive/ infuriating. Sweet/ aggressive.  He can go from the sweetest of sweetness with his hugging and patting and singing Itsy Bitsy Spider in his adorable toddler voice to grabbing a chunk of your arm and drawing blood in the blink of an eye.  I worry about him, to be honest.  Is this on  the spectrum of normal toddler behavior? I try to respond with gentle calmness, in hopes that he will mirror gentle calmness, but I sometimes fail.  Often, even.  Then I have the Mother Guilt™ because I know I am screwing him up irrevocably pretty much no matter what I do.

The kiddos: I miss my boys and can't wait to see them tomorrow evening.  It has been nice to have more concentrated girl time without having to be concerned about finding an additional activity to do with the boys. Issy, Delle, George and I have gone to the library, the playground twice, the lake twice, got ice cream at a local place, biked into town and back, painted nails, and watched girlie movies.  Isabelle is so fun to converse with and well, Delle has the cuteness factor.  When I take her and George on neutral ground, like the park and the beach, there is significantly less conflict.  Overall, it has been a good few days.

In the kitchen: Chicken tacos, jambalaya, taco soup, fish tacos.  Oh, and the meatball subs last week were a hit and will definitely make our regular rotation again.

Crafting: I think I am having the knitter's version of writer's block.  I want to... I just can't. It is frustrating.

Bringing me joy: Sunshine and lake breeze, standing in my yard at 8 in the morning in a dress and not getting bit by a single mosquito, talking to Isabelle, snuggling my little Delzy, George asking to "spounce" in the water and having him say as we are driving away from the lake, "Fun in the water".

Thinking about: Restlessness.  Whether it is something to be worked through and conquered or if it is an indication of something more.  Only time and prayer will tell.

Pictures to share:

 Daughters laying on my lap. I think we were watching High School Musical.
 She wanted me to take a picture (on my phone since that is what I use these days) of her taking a pretend picture with her play phone.
 Manis and pedis for the girls.
 While I was showering with George, Issy laid out shirts for George and me.  Her and Adelle were wearing blue so she laid out blue shirts for us with this note.
Normally, I find lakes yucky, but this one is pretty nice.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Journal: Mid-summer

Out my window: 78 and overcast. Blah. Without the sun, the mosquitoes are all swarmy this morning :P

Clothing myself in: Grey tank top, black yoga pants

Around the house: We (well, mostly Joe) made a big push and did a lot of work on the basement over the holiday weekend.  Mudding, sanding, painting.  It is now mostly painted.  There were a few parts of the wall that needed touched up that still need painted and some corner transition pieces we still need to get/ paint but it is really coming together.  Pretty exciting.

We also took down megabed.  We are having houseguests at the end of the month, beginning of August, so I need to continue to reign in the guest and storage rooms.  I worked on it some on the fourth of July and was able to finish organizing most of Delle's, George's and Issy's stuff.  So. many. clothes.

The toddler:  Still bad poops- I do think it is connected to teething, at least right now.  More comprehension, even a little more compliance.  He is very sweet when he is in the mood.

The kiddos:  Working on Math with Issy.  The boys are leaving Wednesday and we are trying to decide what we are going to do with our time while they are gone- Spa Night, Movie Night.  Probably try to go swimming, probably to the library.  I am really gonna miss my guys, but maybe life will be a little easier with just three?

In the kitchen: Joe made his turkey burgers and I made Sarah's black bean quinoa salad last night for dinner.  Meatball subs and salad tonight. I have lots of things that can be scaled down for me and the girls (George, too)- pork chops and baked beans, tuna burgers, stroganoff with homemade cream of mushroom.
Crafting: Reading The Knitter's Book of Yarn for inspiration.  Good, nerdy read :)

Bringing me joy: Seeing our basement take shape, long weekends, long naps, Delle snuggles, chatting with George.

I wrote the rest on Monday.  Finished on Tuesday:

Thinking about: The mountains. I long for mountains the way my soul longs for heaven.

Picture to share: Helping paint the basement.  Well, kinda help.



Monday, July 1, 2013

Journal:Sister visit

Out my window: 66 and sunny, which makes me very happy.  It has been rainy, rainy, rainy and when it isn't raining the mosquitoes have been horrible.  Locals have told me and Joe that every so often there is a really terrible year and that this is one of them :P  Since it is supposed to be dry for a few days, Joe sprayed the yard yesterday and, at least immediately, it helped immensely.  Hopefully it will provide longterm mosquito control as well, because it has been pretty miserable.

Clothing myself in: Cloud jammie pants, white tank top.

Around the house: Need to complete my clean up of the basement storage room and set things back the way they were before my sisters came.

The toddler: We are at a bad point in the BM cycle and his bottom looks bad :(  I think he is teething, too, cause he is drooling, chomping on his fingers and his nose is runny.  He talks all the time now.  Working on being soft with Adelle and Critter.  He is doing better with Critter.

The kiddos: Need to get back on the math with Issy now that cousins are gone.  The older two boys and Joe are going camping together next week, so I suppose I will need to start making plans for that.  That will be exciting for them.  Isaac is doing really well.  He seems to be less fatigued, his mouth is finally healing.  His echocardiogram was good last week.  His labs were good- liver enzymes and platelets have returned to normal.  He has one more echo in a month and as long as that looks good, too, we will take him off the aspirin.

In the kitchen: Need to go through the cabinets and do some assessments so we can use up some of what we have.  After I go to the store, I have hoping to pick up the things for Sarah's black bean and quinoa salad because it is yum.

Crafting: Need to get back to it.  Maybe I will try to look at some beautiful, inspirational things online today. Or organize my yarn?  That would help.

Bringing me joy: Laughing with my sisters and really, just spending time with them.  Seeing my kids have fun with their cousins.  Days at the lake, sunshine, mosquito free breeze.  Getting to spend time with Joe after a business trip.

Thinking about: Our home here. I will admit, the mosquitoes being bad this year have led to a bit of disillusionment about our home.  We have this beautiful land and, in practicality, it is completely inaccessible unless we would like to be covered in itchy, red welts. Which makes me feel frustrated, cranky and just kind of depressed.  I don't know what the solution is.  Stick it out? Give up? I really do love the community and not every year is like this.... I don't know the answer.  We are open to wherever God wants us to be: here or elsewhere.

Pictures to share:

 Bubble beard boys.  The rest are from me and my sisters' trip to Sheboygan to see Lake Michigan.
 Pretty Michelle and Zane

 The water was super-clear.  And very cold.
 George and Richard digging in the sand.
The beach was very beautiful